


Eleven

by Niler



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-18 11:10:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2346299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niler/pseuds/Niler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall isn't sure what to call what he has with Harry.  He likes it, but should he, should he really allow himself to like it that much?  There are things that are bound to impact what they have and so he really, really should keep his distance, protect his heart, shouldn't he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Eleven

 

 

The thing about Harry, and he's not saying it's a bad thing, necessarily, is that he has the propensity to see a line and decide that no matter where it is he needs to see what it's like on the other side. He's always been that way, it's just that he was a little less in-yer-face when he was 16. Now...

Okay, it started as a bit of a dare – Harry might say otherwise, but he's confident that there was an element of the dare about it. He and Louis were off rather than on at that point and Harry wasn't particularly happy about it. Niall was there, Niall was always there and Harry obviously decided that he was as good as any other means of not only taking out his frustration, but also getting his own back on Louis.

Harry's both an innocent and a manipulative prick – pretty much at one and the same time, so you never quite know how to handle him. Niall's always erred on the side of 'well okay, but it's Harry so take it with a pinch of salt' and that's served him really well.

Of all the boys Harry – well he wouldn’t say he was the one he fancied the least, no that would be Louis – but he definitely wasn't his first choice, but still sex was sex and if it was being offered, no strings attached, then nope he wasn't going to say no.

Their first time was awkward as fuck, Harry trying to blow him when all he'd expected was a nice handjob. He didn't mind blowing Harry, just hadn’t, at that point, wanted to take it that far, put them on that sort of footing. But Harry had no fucking limits, it seemed.

But more than that Harry had no conception of the meaning of the phrase 'please don't seduce me – that's not playing fair'.

Anyone else – he was sure of it – would have seen in his eyes that he wasn't open to being seduced, that his resistance to Harry's wiles was sub zero but that he didn’t want to be seduced, that he wanted Harry to be a gent and resist the fucking urge to _seduce_ him. But nope, not Harry fucking Styles.

And the thing is he took it all so casually, like they were buddies who'd had a nice time, and they could do it again or maybe not – either way they were still buds.

Yeah, right.

The trouble was that Harry was fucking good at sex, like superhumanly good. He revered cock, and that was no exaggeration. He loved touching it, tasting it, presumably he'd also love riding it (but Niall doubted they'd ever get to _that_ point!) and it showed in his level of skilled enthusiasm.

Once Niall had been done by Harry he realised that he'd possibly, just possibly made the biggest error of judgement in his life (to date).

 

 

**

 

Louis' cool toward him because Harry obviously made it clear – if not just full on _told_ him! - what had gone on between him and Niall.

Louis' a bit of a knob about it (without actually coming out and saying anything) for a while and makes a concerted effort to pay Harry more attention, keep him in his bed – happy and satisfied.

Niall wishes him luck.

He loves them both, but he think that Harry's more than Louis can handle. Liam and Zayn think that too. In fact Louis is the only one who hasn’t quite cottoned on as yet.

And he resolves to stay away from Harry, steer clear so as to reduce the risk of getting splashed with the shit that's bound to come up at some point between them.

 

**

 

He'd been sure that Harry was just using him, using him to make Louis jealous, using him as a convenient outlet, but it becomes increasingly clear that he's not doing it in response to anything Louis does, anything that's going on between him and Louis.

The first time they had sex they hadn’t kissed – had never occurred to either of them to kiss: kissing’s for when it's real, when it's more than sex - but when he and Harry spend the day together, end up at his flat, Harry kisses him, puts both arms around him, and kisses him.

At first he's startled enough to just go along with it, automatically responding, but when Harry pushes him gently against the kitchen wall he stops him.

“What you doing, man?”

Harry's eyes are weird – they show everything, and nothing. He kisses Niall's mouth and then his neck. “Kissing you.”

“Why?”

“You smell nice, taste nice.”

“Come on, though, Harry.” He pushes him gently away. “Let's just cook, yeah? I'm starving.”

“Later. Come on, Niall.” His voice is low and persuasive – seductive - and his hands are creeping toward Niall's arse.

“I’m not in the mood, Harry.” Harry can feel his hard on against him so he's not expecting to be taken literally. He is expecting Harry to understand that by not in the mood he means 'I'd rather we didn't go there, Harry', and ordinarily Harry’d be able to easily read between the lines and act accordingly.

The thing about Harry when he's in seduction mode is that he thinks everything pertaining to having sex is a fucking _great_ idea and will suppress the side of him that might allow himself to be persuaded that actually it isn't.

Niall doesn't have to allow himself to be seduced, can easily get really firm and tell him no loud and clear, he just wants _Harry_ to be the one to say 'okay then, maybe you’re right. Let's leave it'.

It would make him feel better – a lot better - if Harry were the one who’d be sensible about things, for the truth is he doesn't care that Louis minds that he and Harry are fucking around. Louis’ made some really stupid decisions when it comes to him and Harry, which means Niall has no real sympathy for him on that front. Had Harry been his, as in love with him as he'd been with Louis, then he wouldn’t have made those decisions. He does love Louis but thinks that whatever he’s suffering now has been wholly of his own making.

If Harry doesn't feel bad about fucking other guys, then why should he feel bad about being one of those guys?

“You're not? Oh. Sorry.” He's got a handful of Niall's hard-on. “I thought you were.”He neither moves back nor lets go, indeed he starts laying sensual kisses on his neck and shoulder and Niall feels his eyelids get heavy as the weight of arousal descends.

“Not in the kitchen, though, Harry. Too many sharp objects and hot liquids.”

“Can't guarantee you'll escape hot liquid, but yeah, okay.”

He turns Niall and guides him firmly toward the bedroom.

 

 

**

 

Harry's got a big cock. There's no other way to say it.  It's the biggest one he's seen up close and personal – erect - certainly the biggest one he's sucked.

He's always thought that guys with smaller cocks have a slight advantage – a deep throater like Harry can get every inch of you in his mouth with ease. It feels like being engulfed in blissful wet heat, but he knows that Harry won't experience that with him. He does his best but needs a lot more practice.

Harry does not mind at all. He has a very sensitive cock and any wet friction seems to work wonders for him. He also likes to talk to you while you're going down on him and that's an unbelievable turn on, spurring you on to do exactly as he instructs, then do it again, and yet again until he's writhing under your mouth, gripping your hair and moaning your name.

Niall doesn't imagine he'll ever be as good as Harry, but when he lifts off him, allowing Harry to come on his chest he feels pretty satisfied that he's good enough for Harry.

 

 

**

 

Zayn's the first to notice that they're fucking around.

It's nothing massive that they've done to give themselves away, but maybe it was the difference in the way Harry touched him that one time, the fact that he allowed his hand to linger in a way you just don't – unless you and the guy doing the touching are intimate. And besides, Zayn is pretty clued up when it comes to this kind of thing.

Meeting Niall's eyes, he simply raises an eyebrow, but that says it all: Zayn will tell Liam and then it will no longer be a secret.

He finds that this really doesn't cause him a single sleepless night. He'll act exactly the same – toward Harry, toward Louis. If they want to act differently toward him, well that's entirely up to them.

He knows, of course, that Louis' understanding is that ‘other guys’ didn't include any of them, that Harry isn’t supposed to fuck any of _them_.

But is it _his_ fault that Louis clearly doesn't know Harry very well at all?

 

**

 

Harry's a jealous bastard. He _isn'_ t. He knows Harry's fucking around, but he doesn't give a stuff. He likes having sex with him, but they're mates, they're not in a relationship. Louis has a right to be jealous of Harry, he doesn't. Harry has a right to be jealous of Louis, _he_ has no right to be jealous of him.

He's fucking other guys and while it's different from him and Harry, in a way it's the same – it's not a relationship with any of them – just buddies or pick-ups – all of it just fucking.

He comes home from a night of fucking and Harry's there, outside his flat, looking like he's been there a while.

Harry rounds on him, almost spitting the words: “Where've you been? I've been ringing off your phone!”

Niall's sore – didn't sleep well, really uncomfortable bed – and he's not in the mood. “Get lost, Harry, I’m busy.”

“I need to talk to you.” He's crowding him a little, and irritated, Niall pushes at him.

“Fuck off, I said. I need a bath.”

“Why, you smell fine.”

“My muscles are sore.” He opens the door, and having already given up, leaves it open for Harry to follow him inside.

“I can give you a massage.” He's lost the angry tone, discarded it for the seductive tone, the one that has never, ever failed to yield dividends. Niall believes that Harry could seduce Barack Obama with that tone in his voice or maybe even the Queen herself.

“I told you I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Niall, it's 9 o clock in the morning! I'm not in the mood either.”

And yeah okay, he knows that Harry's not a morning person when it comes to sex – or at least not the middle of the morning person when it comes to sex – so maybe he does just mean a massage.

“I am really sore,” he admits, taking off his jacket.

“What you been doing?” he asks, helping him. “He's all business, and Niall starts to relax, starts to look forward to the massage. Zayn and Harry are best at this. Louis can't help but do something stupid to you halfway through so no-one allows it anymore and Liam only ever offers massages to Zayn, so though he suspects his massages would be really good has long accepted that no-one but Zayn will ever know.

“Ah, nothing, just sore – catching up with me.”

Harry nods sagely. He knows, they all do – it's pretty gruelling being a popstar! People have no idea! He doesn't think there's a single one of them who hasn't woken up aching all over – weary, under-the-weather – and all of it due to the schedule they're on. “Come on then, let's have you.” He leads the way to Niall's bedroom. “Strip, on the bed. You got oils?”

 

**

 

“What did you wanna talk about?” This has only just occurred to him and he asks, though, really, and truly, all he wants to do is sink into the bliss of Harry's hands working his muscles.

“It can wait. Feel good?”

“You got good hands, Harry.”

“I know.” He pushes his thumbs into the groove on either side of Niall’s spine, eliciting a deep groan. “Good?”

“Really good.” He's hard, of course: Harry's astride him – fully clothed, but astride him - and the purely physical pleasure of Harry’s big, capable hands make arousal impossible.

No need to act on it – it's just nice to feel this level of arousal – the unrivalled sensual pleasure of it.

Harry adjusts his position a little, moving his body down Niall's body and a moment later when Niall feels Harry's hands on his arse he understands why.

He starts off with a light massaging of each buttock simultaneously, then he allows the massage to get a little firmer, a little slower and more deliberate, each outward stroke pulling his cheeks a little further apart. He can hear Harry's breath catch and feels an answering pulse of arousal in his groin.

They've never gone there before, never explored the back option in any significant way and right now he really, really wants to.

Harry's lying on his legs so he can't move, so he bucks a little, then when Harry doesn’t take the hint does it again, accompanies it with a sound of impatient exasperation, and this does the trick.

Feeling the weight of Harry's body leave him, he immediately pulls himself to his knees, spreads them as far as he can, and offers up his arse.

His prick is pointing straight to his belly button, so hard it impresses even him, just waiting for a touch.

Harry’s hands are hot and slippery and the pad of his thumb is hard and thrilling as it presses against the delicate skin of his anus.

“Fuck!”

Harry must have taken that as instruction because he gently pushes against this opening, sighing with Niall as the big thumb finds its way inside his body. His hole closes against it and Harry whistles though his teeth. “Ah, Fuck!”

“Fuck me,” Niall tells him and he knows Harry understands.

Harry pulls his thumb out and then pushes it back in, setting up a rhythm that puts rhythmic pressure against his prostate.

“Ah, god, man, that feels so fucking good. Don't stop.” He gets hold of his prick, starts to strokes.

Harry's got his face close to Niall's arse, starts painting patterns on the skin of his buttocks as he keeps up the relentless finger fucking. When he reaches under, cradles Niall’s balls in his hand, Niall comes with a shout, stroking through it all until he's left panting and shaking, his arsehole flexing, squeezing Harry’s thumb.

He sinks on to his front, his sensitive cock gently protesting the friction from the bedsheet, but he really doesn't care.

That’s the first time he's been fingered and he decides that he's going to do anything – any fucking thing – to get it again. The thought of Harry's big cock crowding against his prostate makes him want to come again.

“That was good, man,” he says mildly, not yet willing to let Harry know that he wants that, wants Harry to fuck him.

“Yeah?” Harry's rubbing his lower back, leans over to place a dry kiss there. “Was good for me too.”

Niall looks over his shoulder at him.

Harry's eye are big and green and very aroused.

“Can I do it to you next time?”

Harry's smile stretches from ear-to-ear, and lying on Niall's back he French kisses him until Niall's poor cock manfully tries to rise to the occasion, at which point he knows he has to call a halt or they'll end up fucking.

He's ready, yeah, but actually not entirely ready.

Harry seems to understand for he relinquishes his hold a moment later and slides off the bed. “You'd better get yourself cleaned up.”

He has a massive hard on and Niall is so tempted, but no, best not to. “You want me to...?” He gives a significant nod at Harry’s crotch.

“No,” Harry says, with a wink. “It'll be taken care of .” And as Niall watches him leave, the twinge of jealousy takes him by surprise.

 

 

 

 

**

 

“You've got freckles.”

“I'm Irish.”

He hears Harry gasp, feels the slight displacement of air as he sits up in apparent astonishment. “You're Irish? What? Since when?”

“Oh whatever, man. Get back down here.” He reaches a languid arm out, connects with Harry's side and tries to pull him back into place.

He can feel Harry's smile as he kisses along his spine.

This is nice – sex with Harry's nice.

While he can't say it's become a regular thing – they don't for instance have a set day or even time in the month when they'll get together - but the times when they do are always special.

They still haven’t had intercourse, but fingering is a regular part of their repertoire now.

He's done it to Harry and he still can't quite belief that sticking your fingers up someone's arse can be so arousing.

The way Harry moans when he's got Niall’s fingers inside him drives Niall absolutely crazy.

He isn't sure who'll be the first to be fucked but thinks it might be Harry, if only because he (in his opinion) has the more manageable prick.

Looking at Harry's cock is quite a turn on – it's big, bold, brash, but really pretty. Wanking it, sucking, licking and biting it is equally arousing, but he honestly doesn't know how well his arse will be able to accommodate it.

He intends to go there, though – no two ways about that – just isn’t convinced he'd be able to walk for a few days after.

They've watched pornos, watched small guys get fucked by big cocks, so it obviously can be done. The guys getting fucked seemed to be having a pretty good time of it, but he has no doubt they are professionals and are obviously used to taking on such...loads.

Whenever Harry lays on his back, allows his cock to caress the space between Niall’s cheeks Niall feels both a thrill and a slight sense of dread. Having the weight of Harry on his back feels ridiculously good; feeling the prickle of Harry's pubic hair against the delicate, sensitive skin of his arse cheeks turns him on something fierce, as does the weight of his heavy cock and balls as they swing and settle against him, but the thought of Harry's initial press into the small, tight space...

“You like the biting, don't you?”

Harry nips him before slapping his arse and saying. “Don't you?”

“I'm afraid that if I say yes you'll turn Count Dracula on me.”

“I weel drink the blood of zis virgin!” He buries his face in Niall's neck, making him laugh and attempt to shy away. “Ah, he ees a virgin, but not pure. Aaaaargh, he ees eating the garlic from Nandos peri peri chicken meal. Aargghhh!” He rolls away, clutching his throat.

Laughing, Niall rolls on top of him.

 

 

**

 

Liam's a funny one. You’ll think you've worked him out and then he'll go and do something to prove you wrong.

He and Louis have always been pretty close and it's obvious that he disapproves of what's going on between Niall and Harry.

He really likes Liam, but none of it is any business of his...

“You think it's a good idea, Niall? I mean I know it's none of my business-”

“So why are you talking to me about it for, then?”

“Well, it's a bit messy, isn't it?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, Liam, I like a bit of mess.”

Liam purses his lips, trying to look stern. He's seen him try that look on both Louis and Zayn and it hasn't worked on either so far as he's aware. Why on earth does he think it'll work on him when he and Liam have fewer ties than he has with either of the other two? “Look, Niall, I can't tell you what to do. Listen, let me finish.” Because Niall actually does want to hear what he has to say he shuts his mouth and adopts an attentive air. “They need a bit of space to work things through. You know what they're like Niall – off on, on off – can't keep track of them.”

“So? What's that got to do with me?”

Liam does his best to keep his temper on an even keel. Niall suspects that being Louis' good mate has given him plenty of opportunity to perfect this. “All I’m saying is that people are going to get hurt. It's bound to happen, can't see any way to avoid it to be honest, and I don't want to see you get hurt.”

“Me?” He laughs because he can't help it. Liam's here for Louis, not him. They both know it. Why is he trying to take him for a fool?

“Yeah, you.” His voice has taken on a harder edge now. “Harry's in love with Louis – you know that. He's just messing you about.”

“Well I'm really grateful for your concern, Liam.” He gives his shoulder a condescending pat. “But It’ll be fine.” He shrugs. “Not into the drama, not here for the drama. If that's what you're here for, then good luck to you, mate.”

“Niall, come on, mate. I'm trying to help you.”

“I know, and I'm fine with it, I just don't think it's that big a deal, though Liam. You got it wrong, mate. Me and Harry are having fun. When we're no longer having fun...” He shrugs.

Liam watches him leave the room, his brows knitted together in that way he has when he's trying to work out exactly what just happened in any given situation.

He's pretty accustomed to seeing that look on Liam's face and it never fails to make him want to crack up.

 

**

 

Zayn and Liam are a team, a double act, but Zayn and Harry have a different type of friendship than Liam and Louis, so while Niall's certain they each took it upon themselves to have a talk with each party (Niall is certain it was Liam's rather than Zayn's idea) he is equally certain that Zayn didn’t try that hard.

Zayn's the sort of guy who simply doesn't interfere, very much a live and let live, make your own mistakes kind of guy.

_His_ kind of guy.

Niall sees him head to head with Harry on several occasions, and their conversations are intense, but Harry always comes out of it smiling, as does Zayn (though his smile is often a lot more sheepish than Harry’s) so Niall figures that while Zayn may have given it a go, his efforts were half-hearted at best.

Well, he knows exactly what Zayn thinks of them having an open relationship. He was actually _offended_ , well, fucking _livid_ if truth be known, went on a remarkable rant about how disrespectful it was to allow anyone else to touch your man etc etc. Well, they all knew exactly who _that_ was aimed at, so they all (well, not _Liam_ , of course) took it with a huge pinch of salt. So there was likely an element of 'serves you fucking right' (with regard to Louis) in his general attitude and lukewarm attempt to dissuade Harry from fucking Niall.

All good as far as he was concerned.

If Louis didn't want other guys fucking Harry then he shouldn’t have suggested the open relationship. Didn’t even know why he had; it hadn't been what Harry wanted. Maybe he feared hat Harry would cheat and to save himself the heartache had pre-emptively ensured that 'cheating' could never be a possibility. Well that was a really clever and well-thought-out strategy! You were either okay with your man fucking other guys or you weren't. If you weren’t then you shouldn’t have an open relationship.

Harry wasn't okay with Louis fucking other guys, but since that was the basis of their relationship he got his own back by doing other guys himself.

Well, it wasn't what _he_ wanted from a serious relationship, but who was he to judge?

All he knows is that if Harry wants to keep fucking him he'll keep fucking Harry.

Even if Louis himself came and asked him not to he'd still keep fucking Harry.

As far as he's concerned the only person who could stop him fucking Harry is Harry.

 

 

**

 

He idly suggests a threesome to Harry.

Harry's grin is contained, containable. “Yes,” he says, practically salivating.

“Who?”

“Zayn.”

Well, when Niall suggested it he'd only had one person in mind – Louis. But maybe Harry preferred one-to-one when it came to Louis, maybe that's why he hadn't even considered him.

“You think he'd be up for it?”

“Of course!”

Niall interprets this as 'I want it, so I’m going to use my powers of seductive persuasion to get him to agree'. He personally thinks the chances of Zayn saying yeah are slim to non-existent. Even including Liam in the mix would backfire quite badly, he feels. Any of them making any kind of move on Liam, even with his consent, would draw the wrath of Zayn down on their heads. He's seen this wrath, been the recipient of this wrath and it really isn't an experience he cares to repeat.

“Don’t know, Harry. Maybe someone else?”

Harry stares at him as though he's lost his mind. “Don't you want Zayn?”

Niall isn’t sure how to respond to this. “I just don't see him being up for it, Harry. Plus Liam would fucking kill us both!”

Harry shrugs, reckless with the prospect of sex – sex with Zayn (apparently). “He need never know. I can be discreet. Can't you?”

Well, yeah – discretion is part of his make-up, it isn't part of Harry's, though. “Nah, man, not Zayn. Not a good idea.”

He watches Harry stare sightlessly at him for a good few seconds – 10 at least – presumably wrestling with the prospect of losing his opportunity to bang Zayn (probably the best and only one he’ll ever get). “Who then?”

He considers. Louis' off the menu, Zayn's off the menu...

Well technically Liam's of the menu, too, but a perverse part of him wants to see how he'd react to them attempting to seduce him. He's pretty fucking sure they won't succeed, but he definitely wants to try.

“Liam,” he says, starting to grin.

And when he sees the answering grin, the evil glint in Harry's eye he knows that they have just hatched a plan.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

He's thought about a threesome before – not with Liam, though.

He isn’t sure how he feels about Liam, sexually.

He's sort of attractive, but more in the 'nice boyfriend' kind of way.

Both Zayn and Harry would make nice boyfriends, but that's not really the first thing that comes to mind when you're contemplating them on a friends with benefits level.

Louis - not ever.

Louis, you can either take or you can't, and while Niall loves him, he doesn’t always like him very much.

Harry he likes all the time, Zayn likewise. Liam has a tendency to get on his nerves a little bit here and there, but he's more irritating than really dislikeable.

Louis, though...

And he doesn't really find him attractive either – not sexually.

Liam's more sexually attractive if only in the 'can I really make him scream out loud, forget himself?' challenging experiment sort of way.

Niall thinks that both he and Harry regard Liam as quite a challenge, which is probably why they're making firm plans to get him stripped naked, flat on his back and panting. Screaming would be good, too, but that'd be pushing fantasy way too far.

Truth is, getting him naked, getting him in a position where Harry can even subtly do his thing will probably be a harder task than getting through the X factor auditions!

But he's up for it.

They both are.

 

 

**

 

The thought of fucking Liam makes Harry extremely frisky and they spend the next two days all over each other.

This really amuses Niall, especially when he sees Liam staring daggers at him, the scratches on his back, the bites on neck and collar bone leaving no room for doubt as to the nature of his and Harry's leisure time activities.

Would he like biting?

Well that's a moot point: if Zayn saw any marks whatsoever on Liam's skin he'd go absolutely mental!

Harry told him that Liam doesn't let his girlfriend, Danielle, bite him (not, in Niall's humble opinion, that she would anyway – he has never really seen them as a particularly passionate couple), that Zayn gets really upset when he knows they've been together.

For him to see marks on Liam when he knows he hasn't been anywhere near Danielle?

Well, not even Harry's that reckless.

Zayn has no formal, official claim on Liam, but they all know Liam's his, regardless of him physically putting a chain around his neck. That's certainly how Zayn sees it, and when it comes to Liam Zayn does not play.

To be honest this is half the thrill of the plan – not only to tease Liam, but to also risk the wrath of Zayn.

And the truth is that Niall is so turned on by the prospect of the game that he'd even fuck _Louis_ if the opportunity presented itself!

 

 

**

 

Liam's like one of those antelope things you get on the African veldt. It'll be there munching on grass then all of a sudden it lifts its head because it's heard or caught a whiff of a lion or something equally cat-like. It'll be alert for a good while but then when it doesn’t see anything goes 'nah, must be hearing things' and goes back to grazing – until the next time it catches that same whiff of potential danger.

That's Liam.

It's as though he has a 6th sense telling him that there's danger on the horizon, but because he can't see it, can't quite work out which direction it's coming from shakes himself and says 'nah, must be imagining it'.

He and Harry have been silently stalking their pray for a full week, now. Their schedule means that there's very little time to get together and plan things out properly, plus Louis' really clingy at the moment, demanding a heck of a lot of Harry's time, demanding time by himself with Harry.

Niall doesn't exactly care: doesn't matter how clingy Louis gets, Harry's not going to be monogamous – not now.

Louis was a fool, and it's too late now to say you changed your mind, that you made a mistake.

He wishes he could feel sympathy for him, but the truth is that he honestly feels that Harry's too much man for any one person to handle, and to seek to contain him while he's in his prime within the confines of a monogamous relationship would actually be detrimental.

If only he could convince himself that this was what Louis had been thinking when he made that stupid decision – that he'd done it for Harry’s sake.

Well whatever the motivation, he'd actually set something free, something that made Harry more of the man he actually was rather than the besotted kid Louis had probably imagined he would always be.

That _he_ was reaping the benefits was immaterial – that was who Harry was and good luck to anyone who tried to tame him right now.

The reason he and Harry worked so well was because they weren't in love with each other, had never pretended there was more than deep affection and searing sexual attraction between them.

He accepted that he wasn't Harry's only sexual partner and simply enjoyed that Harry was wholly devoted to him when they were together.

He quite honestly didn't even know how you could be deeply in love with someone and make such an incredibly brainless decision.

An open relationship?

Who even did that, though? Certainly people a lot more mature and together than either Louis or Harry that was for damn sure!

It didn’t seem to him possible for anyone who wasn't absolutely certain of who they were, who their partner was, and utterly confident in the strength and nature of their relationship to successfully navigate the tricky waters of an open relationship.

And the ironic thing was that it was Louis, the one who'd suggested this option, who was suffering the most now.

Oh well...

 

**

 

He isn't surprised that the has the capacity to look Zayn in the face, smile, joke, talk to him normally when he has every intention of getting his man naked on a bed at the first opportunity.

For one he isn't expecting to actually get that far with Liam; for another he doesn't actively fancy Liam – really doesn't have any designs on him; and third, Zayn doesn't fucking own him!

Zayn is one of these guys who'd probably chain you to his bed – feed you, keep you clean and comfortable - but will let you know that you are going absolutely fucking nowhere for the rest of your life!

Niall thinks he'd probably have to spark him out a few times until he got his head straight.

Of all the lads Zayn's the one who scares him the most.

Harry does too, but it takes a bit of time to see Harry's scary side and to understand what there is to be scared of. With Zayn it's so in-yer-face that that by itself is fucking scary.

He watches Liam at times, trying to gauge his reaction to Zayn's crazy ass ways.

Liam just seems to take it, like he does most things, in his stride...

And yeah that could well be the reason they're so fucking suited!

None of them – he, Louis, Harry – have any doubt in their mind that they'll end up together.

Zayn's brand on Liam's arse might be invisible to the naked eye, but it's there, alright. Even bloody Liam knows it, he's just still trying to completely adjust to the fact that he is indeed going nowhere for the rest of his fucking life, pretending to still have the capacity to actually be with other people.

He almost feels sorry for Liam's girlfriend, since apparently she's the only one who _doesn’t_ know that she has no chance in hell of beating Zayn.

But maybe that's part of the reason he chose Liam, though, because there is no chance of anyone in the entire fucking world beating Zayn, so naturally he'd want to poach on Zayn's territory.

Isn't that what any sane person would do – poke an injured bear with a short stick?

Harry, though, Harry doesn't even have a short stick. In this situation vis a vis him making a move on his best mate's man Harry is just right in the bear's face, no stick to give even the semblance of safety...

 

**

 

Zayn's in Bradford.

He was called away unexpectedly and will be away for at least a week.

Liam's really upset, and seems to be at a loose end, hardly seems to know _what_ to do with himself.

Poor Liam.

 

**

 

Harry very often shares most things with Louis – they're really close friends still, after all.

Niall's fairly sure he didn't share the plan to take Liam down, however.

Louis can keep secrets when he wants to, but he has a snide way of saying cryptic things in public that while no-one else might get, you know is a veiled reference to some confidence you shared with him, which is why Niall rarely confides in him these days.

Liam confides in him, of course – about Danielle, probably about Zayn, too.

He seems to be pretty good at keeping Liam's secrets. Niall's always seen them as siblings – Louis occasionally playing big brother, but mostly they're just like terrible twins, getting into mischief, laughing at stupid things...

Had they still been at school he could see Louis leading Liam into trouble constantly, Liam being hauled in front of the head teacher and gently berated for not choosing his friends more carefully. Liam was definitely the kind of guy of whom teachers would say 'I'm disappointed in you, Liam. You've fallen in with the wrong crowd and being led astray. For your own sake I’m afraid I'm going to have to separate you.'

And yeah it was true in a way, but he thought that Liam had this mischievous side that Louis brought out, which wasn't in itself a bad thing, just that Louis wasn't the best person to have around when you weren’t being sensible. He was the type to always take it one step too far, plus he really didn’t care about being told off, whereas Liam did.

Zayn has his mischievous side, too, but for him Liam's well-being came first, second and third, thus his ego was nowhere to be seen when it came to it. While for Louis ego was all there was in many ways, meaning he'd put you down, get you in trouble if he let his ego rule him the way he often did.

He often felt that Louis represented Liam's masochistic side, whereas Zayn represented the healthy self-esteem side of him.

But hey, what did he know, he wasn’t no psychologist!

No, he was just a guy looking to run a game with one of his best mates on one of his other best mates!

 

 

**

 

Harry seemed to have suffered yet another growth spurt. If they weren’t careful they'd have to make him sit down in group photos so as not to make the pictures all lopsided.

“Heard from Zayn?”

“He's okay. Eager to get back here.”

Niall merely nods, not saying that 'yeah, course he is – one day away from Liam is like a heroin addict going cold turkey'. Why? Because he obviously doesn't need to: Harry of all people knows how it is for Zayn when it comes to Liam.

Which made him an evil bastard, really.

First he admits he wants to fuck Zayn, now, when Zayn's off the menu he's willing to have a punt at Zayn's man.

Niall suppresses his own evil grin.

They are both evil bastards.

But hey, no way will Liam co-operate in any way, so no worries, really.

“And Liam's out with Louis?”

“He's in his room.”

They share a look.

Harry's eyes are green fire. “Think he'd like a bit of company?”

Niall looks at his watch. “It's the middle of the afternoon, Harry.”

“So we won't invite him out for a drink, then.” He grins. “But if I know Liam he'll be bored out of his skull right now.”

“Listening to songs that remind him of Zayn.”

“Weeping in his cocoa.”

“Needing comfort.”

They practically hug each other in glee. Isn't it always the way, though, that it's in the execution of an evil plan that you tend to get the most gleeful pleasure from each other?

“So we'll just be nice.”

“Comfort him.”

“Big up Zayn.”

“Oh yeah – big him right up!” They snigger at this.

“Big him up so much Liam won't know where to put himself.”

“ _I_ have an idea where he could put himself.”

They spend some minutes trying to get themselves together after this.

“Speaking of big. Have you seen that monster of his?”

“Not when it's hard, Harry.”

Harry's grinning, eyes shining with pure delight. “I intend to make it hard.”

And Niall merely shrugs (figuratively), in no doubt that Harry could do it, too.

Poor Liam.

If he's any sense at all, though, he'll keep whatever's going to happen this afternoon strictly to himself.

He surely wouldn't be crazy enough to even _think_ of mentioning it to Zayn.

Not even _Liam_ would be that spitefully insane.

Would he?

 

 

**

 

Liam isn’t quite weeping into his cocoa, but he is listening to r&b ballads.

He seems surprised to see them and not especially chuffed.

Niall guesses that he wants to wallow in the ache of being Zayn-less for a little while longer.

Clearly misery _doesn't_ love company in this instance, misery wants to be left the fuck alone in all its Zayn-less pathos.

Yeah, the guy really does deserve a good fucking.

“Hi guys. Alright?” This is the most insincere salutation Niall has ever heard. Not even _Zayn's_ managed to sound so insincere when he wants to let you know without actually coming out and telling you to fuck off that he's not in the mood for company.

Niall glances at Harry, silently telling him to go ahead – make his move.

“Me and Niall are bored to tears, Liam. You don't fancy coming to watch some DVDs, do you? We could watch Batman again.”

“Which one?”

“Well, which one do you have?”

Liam looks at him for a minute as though he's questioning his sanity. “I'll get one.”

They stand in the doorway, watching as he hauls out a bag filled to the brim with DVDs.

Now, Niall likes a good DVD as well as the next man, but how is he going to transport his whole entire fucking collection from London all the way to bloody America with him? Who even does that? “You got a few DVDs there, man,” he casually observes.

“Me and Zayn like to watch them of an evening.”

Niall wants to suggest that actually Zayn's probably only watching them with you because he wants the opportunity to fuck you, but refrains. If Liam hasn't already worked that out for himself then there's no hope for him.

“Aren't you coming in?” He seems to have come out of his funk, the prospect of watching a Batman movie with friends enough to make him momentarily forget his misery.

“We've got eats in Niall's room. Probably nice for you to get out your room for a bit.” Harry's got such a reasonable way about him that Niall fully believes he could persuade you to swim with sharks if he wanted to.

“Oh okay.”

Niall and Harry exchange a look. It couldn't possibly be that easy, could it? Will it be him saying 'oh okay' to taking off his shoes; 'oh okay' to taking off his shirt?; 'oh okay' to stripping to and then taking off his boxers, getting on the bed, opening his mouth...

He shakes himself, surprised at the tingling deep in his gut that heralds the first signs of arousal.

This was supposed to be a prank. No-one said anything about getting aroused at nothing more than the mere contemplation of a naked and compliant Liam.

He glances at Harry’s crotch and is almost tempted to say 'oh put that thing away! You're gonna give it away if you're not careful', but maybe Liam will be too busy salivating at the prospect of watching whichever Batman movie he's chosen for the umpteenth time to even notice, though Niall has to say that you'd have to be either blind or – no, no you'd just have to be fucking blind! Harry isn't a little guy and his little guy is most definitely not a little guy so for Liam not to notice...

“You lead the way, Harry.” He turns him, practically pushes him ahead of him, hoping his meaning is clear – 'get that thing tamed before we get there, please.'

Harry's glance over his shoulder leaves Niall in no doubt that the message was received loud and clear.

He just doesn't rate Harry’s little guy's chances of keeping its nose out of Liam's business for long. He knows Harry well enough to know that once aroused he is almost impossible to talk back down, so the chances of Liam getting intimately acquainted with some part of Harry’s body has just shot up by several degrees.

Poor Liam.

 

 

**

 

They've put Liam between them on the couch, Niall leaving several inches between his and Liam's body.

Harry isn't quite so courteous.

Niall knows what it's like to be crowded by Harry. Liam does too, he just has to assume that Liam doesn't yet know what it's like to be crowded by Harry's body when Harry's in a state of arousal and about to flip the seduction mode switch. He can't do: he's sitting there quite innocently watching his movie – in the midst of danger, but like those silly, pretty little fish who suddenly find themselves snapped up by a bigger fish he's just humming away to himself, feeling no sense of impending doom.

Niall's not watching the film, too busy tracking Harry, trying to anticipate his moves.

He is sure he can smell Harry’s arousal, which sets him off, of course, until he's so keyed up he can barely resist the urge to get to his feet, scream, and jump him, sod anything else, sod _everything_ else.

Sex between them is so easy that once he's aroused it's like day following night, sun rising, sun setting, with the next logical move being sex with Harry.

They're both aroused, and though yeah it's partly due to the urge to do nasty things to and with Liam Niall’s starting to think that this is just an excuse, just another form of foreplay.

He leans back, catches Harry’s eye.

Harry runs his tongue slowly over his lip, catching Niall by surprise.

He doesn't quite know what he's asking Harry, but he thinks it's about making a move, getting things moving. All he knows is that if he doesn't relieve some of this tension, Liam's possibly going to lose all pretence at innocence in a very, very messy way.

Liam twitches a little and Niall sees Harry’s hand on his thigh. He looks at Liam's face, but he's still staring at the screen, clearly determined to keep pretending that all's well, that Harry isn't practically engraving a party invitation on his thigh.

Well he won't touch him - yet – better if he leaves it to Harry to warm him up (or break him down).

Since it's a Batman movie, no-one's been talking, Niall and Harry doing Liam the courtesy of allowing him to watch his film uninterrupted.

This actually works in Harry’s favour. He's got closer and closer, leaning in on him, touching him with increasing frequency and Liam, caught up in the magic of the film, allows it, seems to quite enjoy it.

Niall glances at his crotch. He's not hard, but Niall can tell by his body language, by the flush on his face, the cadence of his breath that he is a little aroused by Harry’s sensual proximity.

Given his knowledge of what exactly Harry's sensuality looks and feels like Niall can only congratulate him for his percipience.

As a general rule Niall rather likes taking his time when it comes to foreplay – with Harry. Harry's so good that there's as much pleasure in feeling frustratingly aroused as there is in getting relief. He'd quite like to kiss Liam – on the neck - run the tip of his tongue over that birthmark.

Liam's pulse is throbbing - right there - giving the lie to his apparent engrossment in the movie. Niall isn't sure what Harry’s doing outside of just being his intrinsically sensual self, but maybe that's all it takes.

Niall knows that Zayn can get Liam hard just by standing way too close, focusing every ounce of attention on him, so maybe Liam's simply acclimated to focused sensuality.

He's pretty sure that the only way _he_ could get Liam hard was to get on his knees and blow him.

His attention automatically drops to Liam's crotch once more.

Yeah, he's getting hard, left hand dropping to his lap to hide the fact.

Niall sucks in an unsteady breath, wanting to touch Harry, get his hands on Harry.

Yes, it _would_ be interesting to see what Liam's like in an intimate situation, but it's Harry he wants.

Leaning back he again seeks eye contact with Harry. When he gets it he reaches around Liam and places a hand on Harry's neck, thumb stroking across his jugular vein where he can feel the pulse and heat of blood.

Harry tilts his head up, exposing his throat and Niall leans across to him, resting his hand on Liam's thigh to steady himself.

He feels the muscles in Liam's leg tense under his hand and this spikes his arousal. The arousal, however, is still less for Liam himself than for the tearing down of his innocence, and Niall has to wonder if there is a secret part of him that gets off on the corruption of virgins, gets off on _that_ more than the deflowering itself.

He bites Harry and when Harry lets out a strangled moan runs his tongue over the bite.

Harry tastes of clean skin, smells of soap and cologne, but all Niall can really smell and taste is Harry's arousal.

And now, Liam is just in the way.

Letting go of Harry, pulling back, he glances once at Liam's face before climbing over him to straddle Harry.

Harry's arms come around him, hold him and they kiss, greedy and noisy, desperate for each other.

Liam doesn't move, not even an inch, still fixed on the television, desperately trying not to notice...

Niall has time to wonder if he'd still be able to sit there while he goes down on Harry, thinks 'to hell with it' and decides to set himself the task of finding out.

He slides off Harry's lap, onto his knees, and expertly unzips him.

He can feel his mouth watering as Harry’s cock springs from its confines, practically jumping into his hand of its own accord. “Yes,” he hisses, mouthing it through Harry's briefs. Harry's hands tangle in his hair as his breath whistles through his slightly open mouth. He likes Niall to bury his face in his groin, rub himself all over cock, balls, hair, skin, and ordinarily Niall would be more than happy to oblige, but not now, not in this situation. That's for when it's just them, when they have time.

Right now he wants to suck Harry and he wants Liam to watch him do it...

 

 

**

 

Liam surprises him.

He doesn’t move an inch, doesn't say a word, just turns and watches them.

Niall can't help himself; he has Harry's cock by the root, slowly licking up the underside and he just has to make eye contact with Liam. He's fairly sure that Liam would very much prefer that everyone pretends he isn't there, but Niall simply can't oblige.

The reason Liam's there is to corrupt him, get him to drop the 'is that a cock? Oh no, sorry, cocks are for girls, not guys' act. Okay, he doesn't exactly do or say that, but there is a definite prissy straight boy element to him and Niall wants to see that obliterated. If in doing so he can also get himself off, well who says you can't kill two birds with the one stone?

Had Liam been any use, any use at all, he’d have offered him a lick of Harry's lollipop, but Niall instinctively knows that involving him in any way will send him running for the hills.

His tongue flicks at the head of Harry's cock and he can practically see Liam's eyes glaze over. Niall worries for him: his breath is moving so hard and fast that he isn't sure Liam's ribcage will be able to contain it for very much longer.

The way he's constantly swallowing must also mean that his throat is really dry – bit of cock sucking would sort that one out for him no problem, but well, no point suggesting that to him.

Niall's a little surprised that Harry's been able to keep his hands off Liam. Well, he hasn't – he has one hand on Liam's thigh to anchor him into the cycle – but that’s all he’s allowing himself to do.

A real threesome, with someone who _wasn't_ Liam, would be so fucking hot – he has no doubt about it - but getting off on Harry, letting Harry get him off with Liam watching is, in its own way, just as hot.

He wishes they fucked already because he would love for Liam to see him getting fucked by Harry, but this is not the time – they need a whole night for that – so they'll have to settle for sucking instead.

He can tell that while Harry's having a really good time he's not coming any time soon, and when Harry leans forward to kiss him with plenty of tongue he knows what he wants.

Harry likes you fucking his mouth – really gets off on it – and Niall thinks that how it looks is just dirty enough for Harry to really want Liam to witness it.

So he strips, aroused by the two sets of eyes on him, by the red wetness of Harry's mouth, the greed in his eyes, and stands astride Harry on the sofa, squatting a little to reach his mouth. It's not the most comfortable position, but when he feels the warm wet heat of Harry's mouth engulf him, the firm hands on his hips, supporting his weight, he forgets everything and starts a gentle thrust.

He loves the feel and sound of sucking; of cock going into mouth, of saliva wetting the way. Hearing it is as much of a turn on as the feel of it. He can't really see Harry's face, just the top of his head, but god can he feel his mouth. Harry’s an expert at this – generous and a little greedy – encouraging you to deepen your thrusts, slow down, go faster. Niall won't come in his mouth this time, but he vividly recalls the times Harry's let him, and has to pull out and away to stop himself going there again.

He clambers down, aware that his cock is wet, throbbing, bouncing, so hard he feels he could hammer nails with it.

“Come on,” he demands, pulling at Harry's jeans and boxers.

He glances at Liam, who's staring at Harry's cock, cheeks flushed, mouth a slackened, uneven line.

All the idiot has to do is reach over and take what he wants, but Niall knows he won't.

“Turn over. On your knees,” he tells Harry, barely able to stop himself taking him by the hips and just flipping him.

Harry's wet cock is going to leave marks on the sofa, but that's the cross someone else has to bear, so...

His arse is like a peach.

Harry tans easily, but his arse is still quite pale and Niall still cannot believe how much this arouses him.

He's rough with him, fingers firm on his cheeks as he pulls them apart, but he knows Harry likes that, likes to see him out-of-control.

When he rims Harry it's usually when he's so aroused he can't think straight, so he's usually pretty robust – slapping, biting, fucking him roughly with this tongue. He's come so close to fucking him on occasions he honestly still doesn’t understand how he's managed to stop himself. _Harry_ certainly wasn’t the one stopping him. If anything he's the one who keeps knocking Harry back!

He can hears himself moaning as he rims Harry, sees Harry's hand flashing as he wanks himself. His heart is pounding, prick aching, and he just wants to bloody come!

If Liam were any use he'd get himself in there, do something to help!

But he doesn't care about Liam right now; he has one hand holding Harry open and the other on his own cock, not caring what's about to happen to either the carpet or the sofa.

Even when he feels and hears Liam get to his feet and hurry out the room he neither opens his eyes nor pauses his actions...

 

 

 

 

**

 

He really shouldn’t laugh. It's funny, but most people probably wouldn’t find it so.

The next couple of days whenever he or Harry get anywhere near Liam he freezes up like one of those antelope things and his eyes go all big and scared.

Niall thinks that he honestly believes that one or other of them will do to him what Niall did to Harry, and Harry did to Niall (but as he recalls he was the truly active participant that time)

Well, yeah he wouldn't mind, but he's not going to just tackle him in the hotel lobby or on stage or in the middle of an interview. He'd give him some - at least a little head nod or lick of the lips – warning first! And he isn't Zayn: he doesn't regard Liam as his favourite meal bar none, something he'd happily eat for breakfast, lunch _and_ dinner.

He's alright lookswise, but he doesn't really do it for Niall, so really and truly he's actually a lot safer than he realises.

Now, Harry, however.

He's right to be wary of Harry.

Niall is pretty certain that Harry would take on all four of them, leave them in an exhausted heap and then ask: 'is that all you got?'

Harry...

Harry asked him to fuck him that night, gasping and pleading as he came with Niall’s tongue inside him, but Niall hadn't felt ready then.

They'd spent the night together, but had talked, mostly – about Liam and Zayn, their work, their future (as a band).

This was pretty standard so far as the topic of conversation went, but there was always something new to say or discover each time. Apparently Harry'd been fantasizing about doing it with Zayn and Liam for a while – some seriously dirty stuff that he didn't mind sharing in graphic detail.

Niall was aroused, but though he accepted a leisurely handjob from Harry wasn't moved to reciprocate or take it further.

They didn't always reciprocate (it was obvious when you didn't need to) and didn't always do anything really active sexually either. Harry wanking him while talking dirty about the things he'd get up to with Zayn and Liam was more than enough to get him off quite nicely thank you.

He understands the Zayn bit and definitely understands the Zayn with Liam bit. He's pretty sure that Harry’s seduction of Liam (if he ever got him to sit still, in the same room, with him to even make the attempt) would be all about wanting to mark him, stain him, sully his innocence.

It's not that no-one finds Liam attractive, it's more that he's just not very sexual. You can't really imagine fucking or sucking Liam and him doing anything but hold his breath until he came.

Yeah he has a girlfriend but Niall has often wondered if they really ever have sex.

She's hot – a blind man can see that – and he has no idea what she's doing with Liam, of all people.

Zayn sees what no-one else does, apparently, because he definitely wants to - _intends_ to - fuck him.

There are times when Niall sees Liam as the little mouse who's peeked out of its hole, sensed no danger and is scurrying here and there while Zayn's the cat just watching from the corner of the room, waiting to make his move. He'll watch patiently all day long, but it's the patience borne of confident certainty – that mouse ain't going back into that hole today, that's for damn sure.

Poor Liam.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Louis fucked someone the other night and is boasting about it to Liam, boasting about it even to _him_.

Harry spends all the next night with him and though he doesn’t again ask Niall to fuck him he gets a little extreme and Niall has to call a halt.

He finds Harry's jealousy a little trying and says as much.

Harry sulks for a while, because that's what he does – a pattern he has: sulk, get it out of his system and then admit you were right all along.

So Niall simply waits him out.

“Sorry, man.” Harry takes his hand, kisses him on the knuckles. “He pissed me off, that's all.”

“Are you still in love with him?” He's become Harry's bloody counsellor, but he might as well do his job, irksome, boring and repetitive as it sometimes is.

Harry rolls away from him, onto his front. He's facing him, but his eyes are closed. He's beautiful like this, face in repose, hair a mess, the flush of sex and anger making him look deliciously edible. “I don’t know. I sometimes think I am and sometimes I wonder if I ever was.”

Niall says nothing. He thinks they might have been in love, but also thinks it might just have been infatuation. At their age it's easy to get the two confused. Harry's eyes open and they seem to be asking, what he doesn't know.

“Don't know, Harry. You were pretty young.”

“Says the baby of the band.”

“Ah, but I'm not though, am I?” He tugs at his hair. “ _You_ are.” Harry likes when he does that. He didn’t even do it that hard, but he can see his eyes getting interested.

“Do you ever get fed up of having sex?” It's a rhetorical question and when Harry demonstrates his answer he's caught between wishing he'd never asked and wondering how and when he became so manipulative.

 

 

**

 

Liam misses Zayn. He's on the phone to him every day and whenever he gets Zayn's voicemail he looks and acts like someone just killed his pet hamster in front of him.

Louis comforts him, but not really. He’s way too unromantic to be able to properly empathize. “Mate, come on, he's back tomorrow. What’s the problem?”

Liam shrugs, looking like he doesn't really know what’s going on. Zayn does this to him, Niall's noticed this before. Everyone knows, everyone but Liam. It's like the way you can never see yourself from the outside, so you think you look and sound a certain way then when you catch yourself on tape you realise that you look and sound like someone you hardly associate with yourself.. “He said he might, didn't say he definitely would.”

The poor bastard sounds like he's about to burst into tears.

Should he and Harry offer to comfort him, keep him company on his long waiting-for-Zayn vigil?

He looks at Liam, examines his own intentions, find them to be no more benign than they were the last time they lured Liam to his room and decides: Fuck it.

 

 

**

 

Obviously there will be no way Liam will again fall for their dirty tricks. He's been avoiding them if truth be told, but he can't do that indefinitely, can he?

Life without Zayn has been a little boring. Zayn always bring something extra to the party. Louis' just a hyperactive mentalist most days and Harry is a total eccentric at times, but with Zayn it always starts with 'what’s he wearing? How's he done his hair, what mood's he going to be in – how long will he stare at Liam without blinking today?’

Zayn has a foul temper, and when you see what mood he's in, you do your best to limit interaction with him. He has got a vicious tongue when he's crossed and he uses words and sentence structure that makes you feel really fucking stupid as well as cowed. He's not sarky the way Louis is – glib and spiky. He just seems to have a gift for making you feel small.

And while he definitely does scare Niall the most, he's also the one he finds most fascinating.

Harry's the one he loves the most, he supposes. Not just because of the sex, but he can't hide from himself the fact that his feelings are growing each time they're intimate, for each time they're intimate it gets deeper and deeper between them.

He can't think of the last time it was just casual.

Is that why he wants to have a go on Liam, to try to hide away from that?

 

**

 

“I think he would – with a bit of persuasion.” Harry's been drinking – not drunk or even tipsy, just enough to make him stupid.

Niall clicks his teeth in exasperation. “Do you _know_ Zayn? I thought you were supposed to be like that.” He crosses his fingers.

Harry laughs, grabs him, plants a wet kiss half on his cheek, half on his mouth. “We are! Which is why I think he'll be fine with it.”

Niall pushes him half-heartedly. He likes when Harry's playful with him, when he gets right up in his personal space and teases him. But he's wrong about Zayn. “Come on, man – you know how he is when it comes to Liam.”

Harry's got both arms low around his waist, practically on his hips, and he's smiling into his eyes as he pulls him close. “Give him time. Catch him at the right moment.”

“And you think there'll be a right moment.”

“Niall, there is always a right moment.”

The way he says this, looking him straight in the eye gives a meaning to his words that Niall isn't sure he intends. He blushes, ducks his head and then impetuously initiates a kiss.

It should have been something quick, casual, but though it starts out that way – exchange of quick pecks - it soon develops into something that isn't at all casual.

They kiss all the time now, but this feels different.

Harry's solid, warm and he's enfolding him in an intense hug, mouth on his, tongue tangling with his.

Niall wants him, but his heart is yearning far more than his groin.

And he isn't sure what to do with this.

Harry isn't someone you get serious about.

Get serious, get your heart broken.

He knows this and as he allows Harry to take him, take control of him, he urges himself to please stop falling.

 

 

**

 

Zayn looks good. Zayn always looks good.

This is something they often discuss among themselves – Zayn's ability to be a miserable bastard and still look like a model; Zayn's ability to roll out of bed, eyes crusted with sleep, hair sticking up all over the place and still look utterly fuckable; Zayn's ability to look at you like you just dragged yourself up from some malodorous swamp and make you still feel like tapping that ass.

When they see girls talking about how beautiful and sexy he is they want to say, but you should see him first thing in the morning or say something about him being an immature mentalist 70% of the time to contradict this universal perception of him being all that. But since they know that all his faults, all the things that make them want to gag him, tie him up and lock him away in a cupboard can't take away from the fact that he's a beautiful, sexy motherfucker they tend to keep that shit to a minimum. They take the piss of course – no way they'd just let it pass without protest, but it's half-hearted at best.

Liam casually suggested they ask to meet him at the airport 'just as a surprise, you know. We could prank him or something' which was greeted with the disdain it deserved.

Yeah, they've missed him. Yeah it'll be nice to see him again, but no need to take that shit to ridiculous levels.

Louis tells him and Harry that Liam's gone to ask permission to go to the airport to meet him.

They look at each other and roll their eyes.

He can say for certain that this is one thing on which they are all agreed.

But no, it would be really nice to see Zayn again.

 

 

**

 

Zayn's in Harry's room.

Niall wasn't expecting him to be there and for a moment he isn't sure how to react.

Zayn's been back a day and already things are different.

There are things you can do when he's not around and things you most definitely can't when he is.

Zayn watches you, assesses you, makes an entry beside your name in some book he keeps – Niall Is An Idiot; Harry Is A Spoilt Child; Louis Needs To STFU; Liam. Niall doesn't believe any of them save Liam gets a free pass in terms of the accurate but unflattering entries he makes in their individual ledgers.

“Hey, man.”

Zayn doesn't smile, looks him up then down in a way that makes it clear he's far from impressed by what he sees. “Alright, bro?”

“Yeah.” He looks to Harry for some clue as to what stance to adopt. He can't sense anything in the atmosphere to indicate that they've been quarrelling, but the way Zayn looked at him... “Bet you wish you were back home, innit?” He grins at him, at Harry (who grins back) at Zayn once more.

Zayn holds his gaze, doesn't grin back. “Wish I'd never gone, bro. Things going on behind my back.”

“Yeah?” He sits on the arm of Harry's chair and is gratified when Harry pushes a hand under his t-shirt and rubs his back. They're a team, right?

Zayn makes a face in response to Harry's actions. “Let's get something really clear. We're friends, we're brothers. I love you like you were family, no lie, but don't fuck with me, okay? Don't fuck with Liam. Whatever's going between you (and Louis, too, for all I know) leave me and Liam out of it. You get me? Don't want us to fall out, but we will if you fuck with me. We cool?”

He and Harry both eagerly nod.

When Zayn gets like this you don't argue with him.

Having said his piece he gets to his feet.

Niall can tell he's still angry and knows that they'll probably need to avoid him for a little while.

One thing he knows for certain is that they need to never bring up the subject with him ever, ever. That if he never hears from their mouths the details of what happened with Liam they'll remain friends, family.

He looks down at Harry and can see that he knows the truth of this.

When Zayn leaves they breathe a sigh of relief.

“Told you,” he can't help saying.

Harry shrugs, brings his hand around to tweak his nipple. “Give him time.”

“I cannot believe you’re still saying that. You're a mentalist, anyone ever tell you that?”

“No-one.” He's lapping at his nipple now, short rasping strokes of his tongue that drive Niall spare. He lifts the hem of his shirt to give him better access, turning slightly to encourage him to give attention to the other nipple. “It's just frustration cos he wants to fuck him.”

Well, yeah, he knows that, but he still doesn't understand why Harry believes that once he's fucked him he'd be willing to share. Zayn isn't like them, Liam isn't either, so the chances of even Harry getting a sniff is beyond unlikely.

But he doesn't want to talk about them right now, doesn't want to talk at all.

 

**

 

He corners Liam.

It's not that he's angry with him, just wants to see what he said about what went down that night.

Liam's shadow's been called to a meeting and Niall takes the opportunity since he knows it's the only one he'll get.

Now Zayn's back Liam no longer seems to regard him and Harry as slavering predators, so it's relatively easy to get him on his own.

“You know what happened the other night – with me and Harry – was just spontaneous, don't you? Didn't mean for you to get in the middle like that.” Well actually they'd intended to get him in the middle in a very different, far more active and mutually satisfying way, but no need to tell it like it was – not with Liam, not right now.

Liam's wearing that face, the oh-I-am-so-uncomfortable-right-now-please-make-it-stop face. “I know. I felt really embarrassed, didn’t know where to put myself. Sorry.”

Well if you're so sorry, and you're saying it was your fault how come your man was threatening to kill me and Harry a minute ago? “Oh don't worry about it, man. We should have held it together until you'd gone.” He examines Liam's face with careful interest. Did this give him a different take on what happened; did it now seem like his presence was pure happenstance rather than a vital part of the equation? Could he be persuaded that Niall's version of events was the true one, that he'd got it wrong? Because here was no way in hell Zayn would be so ticked off if Liam had presented what happened simply as two horny guys getting carried away and forgetting his presence.

Liam does look a little confused. “Well these things happen.” He says this with apparent authority, but Niall is pretty sure that he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. He's seen him with his girl and the way Liam acts around her he is almost 100% certain that she initiates ever single sex act, that he has never got so carried away at any time that he loses himself with her in the presence of others.

“Sorry though, man.” He rubs Liam's arm, wondering if he's put enough doubt in his mind for him to now go back to Zayn and tell him he got it wrong. “I promise – we both do – that we'll never put you in that position again.”

Liam nods, still looking thoughtful.

Niall smiles. “We cool?”

“Course.”

 

 

**

 

“Did I or did I not tell you not to fuck with me?”

They're in the van taking them to their next interview.

He and Zayn are together in the back.

He likes sitting with Zayn – he always smells good and he doesn't take up all the air in the room the way both Louis and Harry tend to. He's often quite grumpy and taciturn, but he smells good and doesn't take up all the air, plus when he's in a good mood he's a lot of fun.

Apparently he's not in a particularly good mood.

“What, man? What have I done now?”

Zayn's been speaking in a moderately low tone, just enough for the others to know it's a private conversation. He lowers his voice a little more. “Do you think he'd fall for your bullshit? Liam told me what you said, told me you were trying to play him. You and I both know what it was – Liam does too. You think you can fuck with me like that? Don't take me for a fool and don’t fucking take him for one either.” Zayn's face is so close to his he swears it wouldn’t take much for their lips to meet in a kiss – an angry, teeth involved kiss, but still...

“I swear, man, it was-”

“Fuck off! You think I don't know how it goes with you and Harry? You by yourself, okay, maybe not, but Harry?” He snorts rudely and when Niall follows his eyeline he sees that he's looking at Harry and Harry's looking back.

“It was just a bit of fun, we would never-”

Zayn's hard grip on his arm effectively shuts him up – as it was intended to do. “Don't fuck around with him. That’s a friendly warning – from me to you. Like I said, you're my family, just don't take liberties, don't cross lines with me.”

Zayn's kinda intimidating – even Louis' intimated by him at times – and he doesn't want them to fall out so he just nods and when Zayn lets him go, tries not to rub his arm until the blood again starts to flow.

Ow!

 

 

**

 

He doesn't have to, but he's quite upset by Zayn's anger so he persuades Harry to apologise to Liam. He also apologises and hopes to god that they can put it behind them.

Things are a little awkward for a while, but soon it's forgotten and they are able to carry on as normal.

Louis hasn’t said much, but it’s obvious that he's aware of what's gone on and Niall starts to notice a subtle difference in Louis' interaction and attitude toward him...

 

 

 

**

 

Harry's a fucking moody bastard.

It's like you can be all fun and games; laughing and joking until someone loses an eye – and Harry's usually the one instigating the eye loss.

You think you know where you are with him – until, yeah – you lose a fucking eye!

 

**

 

He and Louis are fucking again.

They'd never really stopped, but since the thing with Liam they've been at it like rabbits.

Niall had no idea he'd mind this much, physically reacting when he sees them together – when he sees evidence of their intimacy.

He'd guarded himself against getting too into Harry, knowing as he did that he was still with Louis, still emotionally involved with him, that Louis was first in his affections, but little by little, drip by drip Harry'd eroded all resistance, all sense of self-preservation and now apparently he was in the process of losing a fucking eye!

He sees Liam watching him, watching them and couldn't honestly tell if that blank look was hiding a 'told you!' and 'I see the biter got bit' smug contentment or was just Liam looking gormless.

Zayn just stared and gave absolutely nothing away, but Zayn in any case, wasn't the 'told you so' type of guy – he really didn't seem to have very much interest in any of their affairs, able to contain all his interest in the one tiny, no, _minuscule_ arena – Liam fucking Payne and everything about Liam fucking Payne.

Niall and Harry had idly wondered if Zayn would even be there if not for Liam fucking Payne.

Of all the people for Zayn to be interested in, out of all the lads, he had no bloody idea why Liam Fucking Payne would be the one to capture his interest!

Oh he liked the guy, loved him (to a certain extent) but when you considered what Zayn was like you'd have thought Harry or Louis would have been the ones he'd be drawn to.

But from day 1 it had been Liam Fucking Payne.

Niall knew he was being unfair, taking his resentment out on the guy, but still.

He didn’t even want Zayn! So why was he jealous all of a sudden? Why did he look at Zayn smiling at Liam and want to get up on a table and scream blue, bloody murder – at the top of his lungs?

Was it so he wouldn't have to break down and cry because Harry didn’t seem to be aware that he was in the process of losing an eye? Didn't even seem to notice he was there at all, now?

Well, he wasn't going to lose an eye, wasn't going to take it out on Liam, wasn’t going to care at all.

What he was going to do was go out and find someone to fuck...

 

 

**

 

Well, yeah.

Apparently he was a twink, and apparently that meant that you got fucked, because apparently twinks were not only attractive to older guys, but were put on Earth to be the _plaything_ of older guys.

Fuck that shit.

Okay, so not a guy then.

A girl.

Th trouble with girls was that...you had to chat them up first. Sometimes you had to chat them up for fucking _days_!

Fuck that shit, too...

 

**

 

Zayn was pretty good at giving advice.

He was quite nice when he gave advice.

If he had to repeat himself at any point – after he gave you that advice – he wasn't quite so nice.

Moral of the story: fucking listen! And do as you're told!

 

**

 

“Zayn?”

“Hmm?”

“You free?”

The fact that Zayn actually raises his head to look at you means that he's suspicious and is probably looking up the definition of 'free' in his mental dictionary. With Harry it meant 'I'm going to talk and talk and talk, possibly for days. Oh about nothing – actually, random things, things that appear to have no connection because er they don't. And I'm going to giggle and make really corny jokes and in the end you're going to pray for my death'. With Louis it would be 'I'm going to go all around the houses, make stupid quips cos I don't want to talk about my feelings until in the end you're going to pray for my death' With him it was probably 'I'm not going to talk about what I'm here to talk about because I expect you to read my mind and I'll make stupid jokes in different accents until you pray for my death'. With Liam it would be 'I'm going to start talking. I have no plan on what I intend to say. I may even break into rhyme, maybe rap, maybe even gibberish, but that won't matter since you'll listen no matter what – you may not even hear what I'm saying, you'll just watch my lips moving. There's only one thing you'll pray for and it certainly won't be my death.'

“What's up?”

Niall closes the door behind him, taking up the invitation to sit down and make himself comfortable. Zayn hadn't issued any such invitation verbally, but the fact that he wasn't looking at you like you'd just interrupted him in the middle of fucking meant you were welcome.

“Have you noticed Harry and Louis?”

With Zayn being quite a pedantic person there is always the possibility that he'll elect to take you literally. He can be a really difficult sod in this way and Niall prays that this wasn't one of those days. Shrugging he says: “What about them?”

“Think they're on again?”

Another shrug, but he's put his pen down and seems to be focusing on him entirely. Liam's the only person Zayn truly focuses on entirely 100% of the time. The rest of them is dependant on his mood... “Yeah, I know they’re sleeping together at the moment.” There seemed to be a question there.

“Think they're back together properly?”

“Why, do you?”

Niall looks away. “Not sure.”

He can sense Zayn examining his face, but he isn't getting the 'oh wow, this guy's a fucking idiot!' vibe from him. “I don't know what’s going on with them, Niall. I do know Harry likes you – a lot.”

Niall turns sharply to look at him, this catching him completely off-guard. He's caught between saying 'Oh really? What did he say, what did he say?” and 'you've been talking about me?'. In the end he says. “I like him too – a lot.”

Zayn gives his knee a brief pat and rub. “He just needs time to sort his head out.”

And the problem is maybe he’ll sort it in favour of being with Louis.

When the fuck did he allow himself to start caring so much?

“Man, you know me and Harry never meant anything with Liam, don't you? We were stupid, but we would never, ever hurt him.”

Zayn shrinks a little into himself.

He should never have raised the subject, but at least he got that little tit-bit out of him before the walls come up.

“Liam's not a baby – he can look after himself. If he doesn't want to suck you off he won't. Not like you can force him.”

Niall is probably just imagining it, but does he detect a hint of bitterness in this? “I know, but it was still a bit rank.”

“Yeah, cos you know how I feel about him.”

Zayn does that direct gaze thing that is really fucking off-putting. Niall coughs and rubs at the side of his face.

Had Zayn's glare acted like actual glare and burned the side of his face...? He's pretty sure that with the use of a magnifying glass or any kind of glass, plus a lot of dry brush, Zayn's glare could be used to start forest fires.

He tries to subtly move a little away from the direct line of fire.

“I thought you just fancied him a bit.”

Zayn's look, without any effort at all, transitions to the 'oh wow this guy is a fucking idiot!' one. “The way you just fancy Harry a bit you mean.”

With anyone else this would lead to an argument, an exchange of views. But this is Zayn. There is something about when Zayn bites you, sticks a knife in you that has the potential to be fatal. Louis' got a barbed tongue and a nasty way with him at times, but he stings rather than fatally wounds. Zayn's like a surgeon – goes for the most efficient and effective cut. He won't waste time fucking _stinging_...

Niall shrugs, looks down at his hands. “It was just meant to be a bit of fun.”

“Yeah.”

Zayn has the grace to keep his tone absolutely neutral.

“I'm not in love with him or anything.” And he has absolutely no idea why he's talking. Zayn isn't making him talk, in fact Zayn would probably like him to shut the hell up, but he knows that he will talk – needs to – talk about this. “We haven’t fucked.”

“Haven't you? I thought you had.”

He looks solemnly at Zayn, no longer even in a position to ask himself if this is even a good idea anymore. He appears to have gone past that stage. “Have you ever fucked a guy?”

For a moment Zayn simply looks at him and he cannot tell what he's thinking. That's not that unusual, it just doesn't often presage anything good. Zayn's quite easily offended at times and it's not always easy to tell when, why or what. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I need advice.”

“About what?”

“What to do, how to go about it?”

“Go on Google.”

Niall gives a gusty sigh. Did he really think this would be easy? “I'm not talking about how, Zayn. I can work that bit out for myself.”

“So, what then?”

That was a very good question. “With Harry.”

“In what sense?”

“You said he likes me – a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“So, I mean, I have a chance, right?”

Zayn frowns as though he's having trouble following the conversation, as if the conversation has taken a detour from a straight linear logical line and is careering toward crazy town. “How should I know?”

“But you said he said he likes me.”

“No, I didn't.”

Niall sits up, teetering on the edge of outrage. Was he really going to revise the history he himself had made? “You did. You just did!”

“I said I know he likes you. I didn’t say he said he liked you.”

It takes Niall a little while to parse this. Oh. Oh. So Harry didn’t like him then, hadn't said he liked him. He turns away, deflated, and makes no effort to continue the conversation.

After a while Zayn puts an arm around him and pulls him into a comforting embrace.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Harry's the same toward him – apart from the no longer having sex with him or even really flirting part.

It's as if there's never been any intimacy between them at all and Niall simply can’t understand how Harry could go from such deep, intimate affection to ‘just friends’ in the space of days.

It doesn’t help that Louis' so smug about everything – not saying anything openly, but then that's how Louis is – everything’s always snide and covert with him.

He hates himself, hates himself for not following his own rules, hates himself for bringing this on himself, hates that he can't even hate either Louis or Harry.

It's all on him, and the thing is hating himself feels oh so bloody unproductive. If he could hate anyone else involved he's sure he'd feel a lot fucking better.

 

 

**

 

He's got so used to spending time with Harry that it becomes a little difficult to adjust.

Harry's not choosing him anymore and it burns to see how much of his time and identity he'd invested in his relationship with him.

He, at no point, makes it clear that he's even _noticed_ that Harry's dropped him.

He certainly doesn’t let on that he cares.

It's pride – oh is it ever – but it's also because he doesn’t want to make things awkward for Harry.

They never made promises, always understood that what they had wasn't serious, was just fun; that so long as it remained fun it would continue. The unspoken part had been Louis, how, if Louis were to ever be what Harry wanted him to be, they'd be over because he'd give all his energy to his relationship with Louis.

And so here they were.

Maybe Louis had been a lot smarter than he ever expected, knew Harry better that he did, because fucking around had certainly got Harry's attention, presumably got _him_ exactly what he'd wanted.

Niall had always told himself that he wasn't in competition with Louis and had truly believed it.

For a long time it had even been true.

Not so now.

The trouble was that Louis wasn't even competition.

He'd always been the victor.

Seems that Niall had been the only one who hadn't seen that.

Of course at the time Liam had issued his warning Niall hadn’t actually cared. At the time he'd been warned he'd honestly thought they were just having fun buddy fucking; there'd been no thought of actually getting emotionally involved with Harry.

He'd resisted that for so long and even now he had cause to commend himself for that.

He'd fallen at the last hurdle, but that didn’t matter. Not like he was allowed to ask for sympathy. He did not deserve any.

He'd known not to and still he'd allowed himself to get too into Harry, and that was all down to him.

 

 

**

 

He hadn’t really expected Liam to be sympathetic to him, but that was Liam. Niall sometimes thought he took on your pain and felt it twice as deeply.

Nutter, but it was nice all the same to feel that there was genuine sympathy rather than the social sympathy you’d get from almost anyone else.

He and Liam are the only ones who don’t appear to have somewhere to be and it's natural that they'd gravitate toward Niall’s room later that afternoon

Lately, Liam's seemed quite happy.

He's doing well on stage, handling the press and the fans with a lot more ease than he used to. He seems the same with Zayn, but with Liam when it comes to Zayn it's pretty hard to tell.

“Alright, mate? Drink?” He's heading to the mini fridge. It's usually filled with pop and a not very interesting selection of juices, but they're both thirsty and he knows Liam won't make a fuss.

He can be _really_ fussy and he has no idea how he and Zayn get on so well since Zayn's fussy too – but in a different way.

He tries to imagine for a moment the two of them in a sexual situation, and all he can see is each of them just lying there waiting for everything to be perfect before they'll grab a handful of dick and just go for it... Not because they've got a problem with grabbing a handful of dick, but because they're just too bloody fussy about everything...

“You don't like pineapple, do you?”

“No, that's Zayn. I like it. Pineapple and orange is my favourite.”

Interesting - not. “Well, I can mix them for you.”

“Thanks.”

Wrong answer – you're supposed to say ‘nah, don't put yourself out, I'll take it as it comes'. “No problem.” He _can_ be a good host. Trouble is that for the most part he just cannot be bloody arsed!

Liam's listening to his iPod and Niall watches for a moment as he moves his head in time with the beat.

He does admire certain things about Liam. He's one of these guys who are really good at things – and don't know they are, so they are never big-headed, don't even make a big thing of their skill. And they'll show you how to do stuff and have infinite amounts of patience. In fact they're good teachers, seeming to be able to effortlessly explain things so you get it quickly and easily.

Not everyone’s like that. Zayn is a pretty crappy teacher, not really able to explain how he does things in order to make his skill transferable. Louis' not bad, but he doesn't have the right attitude a lot of the time. Harry's a good teacher too – he has the right attitude, but he doesn't have Liam's ease of making things explicable.

Liam's definitely the best teacher.

He does his best to not leave the major part of the juice on the counter top, and isn't sure he’s got the ratio right, but orange and pineapple juice mix – who's going to have a measuring cup to ensure the fucking ratio’s precisely half and half? If Liam doesn’t like the ratio, well he shouldn’t have left it to him then, should he? He knows that for all Niall's Irish and should have a genetic propensity for the mixing of drinks he's also a lazy fucking bastard who doesn't actually give a toss about most things, most of the time, and you don't leave stuff you actually fuss over in his hands.

“I did 2:1 for the juice. Is that okay?” He hands it to Liam, then takes a seat next to him. He likes that they can afford better hotel rooms over here. There've been rooms where there was just a bed, a cabinet and a chair. That's okay, but he likes having company, and with five of them in a room the bed and a single chair have to do overtime, and though he's no Zayn or Liam he'd rather not have any of them crawling all over his bed.

“2 pineapple and I orange?” He's holding the glass to his lips as though if he doesn't get an affirmative to this he'll dash the contents to the floor.

A part of Niall wants to say. “No, 2 orange and 1 pineapple', but he's not really in the mood to tease him. “Yeah. Hope it's okay.” He watches Liam take a sip.

“Oh that's nice. Really cool and refreshing.” He takes another long swallow. “Thanks, Niall.”

“You're welcome.” He watches Liam's neck as he swallows. “Can I ask you something?”

Liam raises a hand in a 'give me a sec' gesture, drains the glass, then wipes his mouth. “Sorry. I needed that.” He's all business now, looking at him attentively. “Yeah, sure you can. What is it?”

Niall has reason to congratulate Liam for having the foresight to finish his drink before giving Niall the green light to ask his question. Had he still been drinking he'd probably have choked on it. As it was he choked on thin air (or so it seemed). Niall couldn’t think of any other way to explain what happened when he asked him why he hadn’t sucked Zayn off yet...

 

 

**

 

Harry's bought him some candy – that’s exactly what it said on the label – candy – and some plain but expensive t-shirt. It's green – not his best colour but he understands the meaning behind the gesture, and it feels like the best item of clothing he's ever or will ever possess.

He wants to ask Harry if this means they're still fuck buddies, but also understands that Harry's just apologised, probably for more than neglecting him the last few days.

Niall thinks it's an 'I'm sorry it's over. Had a god time, hope you did too' designer t-shirt.

Oh well, at least he made a gesture.

He'd have preferred the 'Let's get serious and exclusive' baseball cap, but he's not the one in charge of this – never had been.

He tries not to resent Louis, who to his jaundiced and jealous eye, appears to me going over the top with his possessive claim on Harry's person, affection and time, but it's not easy.

He thinks it's going to take him a bit of time to adjust, to get back to not caring, not minding seeing them together, to being normal with either of them – together or apart – but he knows he'll get there.

The best way is to just throw yourself right back into the swing of things, just force it, force yourself to act normal until it _stops_ being an act, but he isn't certain he can quite do that – not today at least.

Maybe tomorrow.

So he tries to avoid the two of them, spending time with the guys from the band as much as possible without it looking like he's trying to avoid Harry and Louis.

It’s a strategy that requires guile and skill and an abundant store of energy.

The abundant store is depleted by the time he gets back to the hotel, and all he want is to bathe and go to bed.

Definitely not think about Harry...

He's stripped off his shirt and trainers and has the shower running when he hears a soft knock on his door.

He doesn’t think it'll be Harry, thought that is precisely how he'd knock before, when he came to his room late and in need of a good...talk.

Trying not to get his hopes up, trying to prepare himself for whatever Harry might say or do he hurries to the door and opens it – without first asking who it is.

The shock is two-fold. First the shock of disappointment – it isn't Harry - and then the shock of being faced with that look on Zayn's face, the one he'd often mused he'd only ever want to see in someone _else's_ worst nightmare.

He doesn't know why he's there, except of course he fucking does.

Liam is a complete and utter stupid ass wanker!

How is it that he can’t seem to keep his fucking mouth closed around Zayn - except when it comes to giving him a blowjob? He'd only fucking asked that innocuous question, hadn't interrogated him all night; just for a few minutes, that's all, and they’d been perfectly reasonable questions that any other bloke would be-

“What you doing chatting my fucking business?” His voice is quiet – Zayn's voice is always quiet – it’s the _tone_ of his voice, the intonation, the incipient serial killer madness in his voice that’s worrying Niall.

“What?”

Zayn puts a hand precisely in the middle of his chest (was that one of those pressure points - killing point?) and pushes him backwards.

Either they were going to have a serious talk, or Zayn was going to forget everything he'd promised about keeping the band together as he set about killing one of its most vital members.

As far as Niall’s concerned it could go either way. In fact he couldn't really see much difference between the two...

Could he seduce Zayn, divert him from his path of destruction by offering some rather pleasant (and expert - even if he did say so himself ( but seriously if he could handle the Styles member he could handle not only Zayn, but possibly an entire rugby squad)) distraction?

 

 

**

 

 

“What were you even doing with Liam?”

Zayn's slight, but he isn't exactly a pushover. He's standing over him and it looks like he means business.

Niall is sure Zayn's got hold of the wrong end of the stick, but he has to tread really carefully. “With Liam? Nothing.”

“I told you not to fuck with him.”

“I didn't.”

“You were in his personal business. I told you to back off.”

“We were talking, that’s all. I wouldn’t call it being in his personal business.”

Zayn's staring at him, not listening to a word he's saying. His eyes aren't cool the way they sometimes are, right now they're kinda...hot.

Niall can't tell what the hell he's thinking.

Zayn helps him out. “Do you want to fuck him?”

Well there is obviously a right answer to this. There is also a very wrong answer. There is also the possibility, of course, that while the right answer might be right, it might also hold within it the seeds of wrongness. For instance, if he said that he didn’t want to fuck Liam, Zayn might be insulted that he didn’t find Liam attractive.

But be that as it may, one thing he was sure of was that saying he wanted to fuck him was most definitely the wrongest of wrong answers.

“No, of course I don't!”

Zayn's expression doesn’t change. He's allowing his gaze to rove over Niall's face and body, however.

It's kinda hot or would be if Niall couldn’t also feel the knife at his throat. “Me and Liam are just friends. I would never-”

“Don't fuck about, Niall. You and Harry were planning to get him into bed, so obviously you're not 'just friends'.”

Niall frowns. Did Zayn think there was something going on between him and Liam? That was crazy. He didn’t fancy Liam at all! “I don't fancy him, Zayn. He's not my type.”

Zayn's focus narrows.

Oh yeah, the seeds of wrong have started germinating.

Zayn is such a difficult, obsessive bastard.

If he said he fancied the pants off Liam he'd end up with a bloody nose – or worse. But saying he didn’t find him at all attractive might see him end up with a bloody nose...

“What do you mean?” Zayn says it as though this is a perfectly reasonable question. It's not - he heard him the first time. It's as though he's daring Niall to _repeat_ it.

“He's fanciable, I just er prefer Harry, you know. Harry's my type and he's like the only one on my mind. Has been from day 1.”

Zayn puts his head to one side and Niall is sure he'll start smiling.

He doesn’t smile, he says: “Liar,” and waits for Niall to respond.

Well that's a bit rich. Who's he to tell him that he's lying about his feelings? He has no idea how long he's had the hots for Harry! It could have been from day 1. Who's _he_ to say?

“I fancied him, but he was with Louis so I never did anything about it.”

Zayn has what Niall feels are perfect eyebrows. They're eloquent and often ruthlessly employed to make the statements Zayn's too lazy to make.

Right now they are practically touching his hairline. “You never.”

“I did. I just didn’t let on!”

“Niall, give it up, man. You didn’t have the hots for Harry from day 1. I know that for a fact.”

“No, you don't.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Zayn appears to be enjoying himself. The prospect of outwitting people always seems to elevate his mood.

Niall spends a few moments contemplating a battle of wits with Zayn, before sighing and letting it go. “Okay, maybe not since day 1, but longer than you know.”

Zayn seems a little disappointed that he won’t get the opportunity to trap him in some logical conundrum, argue him to a fucking standstill. “How long?”

“Longer than you know.”

Zayn's been standing all this time but now he decides that since he's going to interrogate him he may as well get comfortable. “Go on, then.”

“What?”

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“How long it's been.”

“Zayn, come on, man I don’t know – a while.”

Zayn's always seemed fascinated by his eyes. That's the only reason Niall can give for the way he's always staring into them, looking at them, minutely examining them. He's doing that now, then dropping his gaze to Niall's mouth. “Tell me what it's like to suck him,” he says, with absolutely no forewarning whatsoever.

Niall's taken aback, almost physically rocked back by the unexpectedness of this. “I, I- Why? Why do you wanna know, though? You're not interested in Harry.”

Zayn raises his gaze to Niall's eyes. “No,” he agrees, staring into his eyes. “I'm not interested in _Harry_.” And the quiet intensity with which he says this punches Niall straight in the gut.

 

 

**

 

Liam... Well he doesn't know whether to pity him or envy the fuck out of the guy.

Zayn is something else - that's for damn sure...

 

 

**

 

Liam doesn't appear to comprehend that he's done anything wrong. He even looks like a baby. A baby's bum more like.

But he thinks he knows now what Zayn sees in him.

There is something quite sexy about him at times – that blank expression behind which fuck alone knows what goes on.

And you can't deny he’s got a bod on him.

He doesn't think it's the bod that attracted Zayn, but he's not exactly gonna say no, is he?

Zayn, though, what an absolute fucking wanker the guy is.

It's like, Niall _knows_ what he's like, just hadn't quite fathomed the depths of his ability to fuck with you.

On second thoughts, no, he actually envies the _fuck_ out of Liam...

 

 

**

 

“Hi.” Harry's got a tray and appears to be asking if he can sit next to him.

His hair looks good and he's tanned and gorgeous, green eyes highlighted by the golden brown of his skin.

“Hey up.” He shifts a little, though there's no real need, and when Harry sits, finds himself automatically gravitating toward him.

“You alright?”

“Couldn’t be better.”

“You look good.”

“Harry, I look like a boiled lobster.”

“Par-boiled.”

“Is that better?”

“More pink than red.”

“Is _that_ better?”

“I don't know - white red, blue: I'd take you whichever way.”

Niall doesn’t respond to this. This is Harry all over – he'll drop you when it suits, pick you up and flirt with you when _that_ suits.

Niall's not playing those games anymore.

“Where's Louis?”

“Some paintball thing with Liam and Zayn.”

“And you didn’t want to go?”

“Too hot.”

“Not inside – the Americans are good with air conditioning.”

“Actually, they aren't – they’re a bit over zealous at times, if you ask me.”

Niall shrugs. Couldn’t argue with that. “But it's good sometimes.”

“I suppose.” He's got a salad and some bread. Harry has a healthy appetite, but he tends to not really eat junk. It's the only fault he can really pick with him.

They're in a quiet corner and it'd be possible to have a fairly private conversation. Since there's a very good chance they won't get this chance again he thinks they should go for it.

Either Harry will play ball or he won't. If he won't, well that'll be answer enough.

“Harry, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Are we over?”

Harry pauses over his chicken salad, then forks a small mouthful past his lips, chews, swallows and says. “Do you want us to be?”

Niall stares at his profile a minute, not sure how to feel. “Don’t you?”

“No.”

“But you and Louis.”

“Yeah.”

Niall waits for more but when it doesn’t come, says: “Sorry, Harry, it's not the same as before. I don't think I want to keep on.”

Harry is silent for a while, simply eating his salad. This isn't like him, so Niall waits and waits.

He can't really tell what he's thinking, but he can sense that he's a little upset. That's why he isn’t saying anything: he's upset.

“Harry?” He places a hand on his bare arm. It's warm – hot – and Niall remembers how it feels to be in his arms, to have that warmth all over him, enveloping him. But he doesn’t move his hand. He forces himself not to pull away.

“If that's what you want, okay. It’s not what _I_ want, though, Niall.” He turns to him. He has a smear of mayo at the corner of his mouth and Niall reaches a finger and wipes it away. He could wipe it on the napkin, but he doesn't, he puts the finger in his mouth and sucks the mayo off it, watching Harry's eyes. “Is it what you want?” Harry’s really clever with his voice – he can do all kinds of things with it that Niall finds really admirable. Right now he's bringing it to its lowest register, making it hoarse - both seductive and a little plaintive.

Clearly he believes that Niall doesn’t have the resources to resist this, but Niall's learned a few things in the week since he and Louis have been busy giving him the finger. “Yeah, it's what I want. I think it’s what you want too, Harry. I know things are serious between you and Louis now, so-”

“They’re not. We tried, but it's not working.”

So you thought you'd come running back to me? I don't think so! “You two will never be over.”

Harry looks into his eyes. “But _we_ are?”

“Harry,” he says helplessly.

“Can I explain something to you?”

“Don’t lie to me, Harry, man. That's not how we roll. We never made any promises. I never thought it was me and you. I always knew it was you and Louis.”

“It hasn’t been me and Louis for a long time. You know that.” He's getting intense now and Niall wonders if they maybe _should_ have left it till later, till they were in private. “Things could never have been the way they were with me and you if I was still in love with him. You know that, Nialler, I know you do, deep down. I know I gave you the wrong impression – being with him, spending time with him, but I had to end it properly, and it was hard to find the right time.”

“You've ended it?”

Harry looks at him and he can see the tears starting. “Yeah.”

This is such a shock that he literally sits there with his mouth slightly agape, simply staring at him.

“It wasn't working, Niall and I- wanted to be with you.” Harry doesn’t look at him when he says this and Niall can feel the waves of pain radiating from him.

He needs time, time by himself.

“You're still friends?”

“He's angry with me.”

So, no, then. “Well, that's only to be expected.” He puts a hand on Harry's, squeezes. “Give him some time.”

Harry looks at him. “I told him something that really hurt him.”

“What?”

Harry looks into his eyes. “I told him I was in love with you.”

 

 

**

 

He can't talk to Zayn, so the only alternative is Liam.

Liam is Louis' best mate (well, Zayn's actually his best mate, but the thing is none of them regard Liam and Zayn as just mates, so Louis' his best mate - by default) so it's going to be a little iffy, and apparently Liam can't keep his fucking trap shut. Still, that's more to do with Zayn than not actually being able to keep anything to himself. Apparently just being near Zayn gives rise to the impulse to open himself up and spill all over him...

But he needs to change his attitude if he wants Liam to be amenable to his blandishments.

Zayn's the best, really – he doesn’t mess about – but Liam's the next best when it comes to listening and imparting advice.

He's been skulking in his room ever since Harry said what he said, and though he knows the others are back hasn't made any effort to connect with any of them.

It's not his fault, he knows that, but that doesn't make it any easier to face Louis.

He still can't quite believe that Harry's ended it. Like all of them he was sure that they'd go and go – forever and ever. They all know it hasn’t always been great between them, but he'd expected they’d be like those couples you saw – always fighting but unable to let go of each other, of the relationship – breaking up and getting back together for years and years until they no longer even bother to break up – not worth the effort.

Until he got too into Harry he'd viewed their relationship with dispassion – no judgement, just acknowledging that it was what it was, and that it apparently seemed to work for them.

Now, according to Harry it hadn’t ever really worked, certainly not the way he'd _wanted_ it to, and this meant making an adjustment to his perception of both Harry and Louis – and their relationship.

He was agitated, not knowing what to think, what to do.

Harry had said he didn’t expect him to feel the same, but that he'd felt he needed to tell him, to explain to him how it was with him and Louis.

Niall hadn't really answered properly, pretty much fell silent at that point, and they'd parted some minutes later, a little awkwardly, things between them jagged and out of true.

The ironic thing was that even during this past week of uncertainty, when he was sure Harry was deliberately ignoring and trying to hurt him it hadn’t been like this - they'd still been fine.

All it took was Harry saying he loved him to completely fuck everything up...


	5. Chapter 5

 

He has to wait until Zayn finally leaves Liam to his own devices that night before getting the chance to unburden himself.

Liam and Zayn take any and every excuse to spend time in each other's company, and it's sometimes seemingly impossible to get one without the other... Most of the time this is fine (Liam is known to have a calming effect on Zayn's impulse to be a morose wanker, so his presence is often welcomed)), but he's glad that Zayn's left him alone while there's still a few hours of daylight to play with. He's pretty sure that Zayn would sleep there if that wouldn't be seen as weird by...pretty much everyone...

Niall isn’t entirely sure, but he suspects Liam would let him, too – if it wouldn’t be seen as weird by...pretty much everyone.

When Liam opens the door to his knock Niall can see straight away that something's happened. He wants to say something, but selfishly decides that his need is greater, and, therefore, to deflect Liam from the path of helping him out with his problem would be a really stupid thing to do.

“Hi, Niall.” He's surprised to see him and because he's Liam can't quite hide it.

“I need to talk to you, man.”

“Oh, okay.” He steps back to let him pass. He's wearing a pair of baggy shorts. As far as Niall can tell that's all he’s wearing. He quickly moves to the bed where his t-shirt appears to have been discarded in what Niall suspects was somewhat of a hurry, and covers himself. “Make yourself comfortable. I was just about to have a shower.”

He's already had a shower. Niall has no idea why he's lying, but he doesn't have time for any of that. “Thanks, man.” He looks at him, wondering how much small talk he can get away with _not_ engaging in. With Zayn, engage in small talk at your peril, but both Harry and Liam like to observe the niceties and are very tolerant of small talk. “Did you have a good time today? At the paintball place, I mean.”

Now, there's small talk and then there's any excuse to talk about your best mate, about how clever and funny he is.

Niall puts up with this for as long as he can then just drops it into a brief period of silence (Liam drawing breath so as to be better able to reach a crescendo of Zayn admiration) because he swears the hours of daylight have somehow trickled down to zero, in fact it's entirely possible that an entire day might have passed while he's been locked in the room with Liam talking about Zayn. “I think I'm in love with Harry.”

Liam's really, really bad with the poker face. He can do it – when he has warning – but he's been talking about Zayn (talking is understating it by some distance) so he's all open and happy and off-guard. This catches him full in the face and he just sits there gaping at him, doing a pretty good impression of a beached mullet, except that his mouth just stays open, and there's no indication that he's even still breathing. “Sorry?”

“I know man, I didn’t plan it to happen, it just happened.”

Liam looks like a man lost for words, like a man who's just found himself cornered by a bag-head when he'd just been popping to the newsagent for a bag of crisps and a bottle of pop. “Oh.” He turns away from Niall, stares straight ahead of him, like someone silently praying for rescue.

“You can't tell no-one, though, man. Promise me.” He's being unfair and he knows it. Liam's one of those people if you make him swear to something he'll hold to it for bloody ever. He and Harry had been stupid not to make him promise not to tell Zayn what went on. Oh wait, no, they hadn’t made him promise had they, since their intent was to make the guy so embarrassed he'd try to tell himself it hadn’t happened. Telling Zayn hadn't even been on the cards. He still couldn't quite get over that, actually. Who _told_ Zayn something like that, though? You'd know what Zayn was like yet _still_ tell him something like that? And as for the bit about sucking Zayn off? Was the guy a fucking moron? Still, he _had_ to forgive him since he needed a confidant and blabbermouth was the only one currently available.

Liam looks like he's just been asked to diss Zayn – roundly and at length. “Niall, I-”

“Please, man. I just need to talk to you for a bit. I won't put you in an awkward position, I promise.”

“But you have put me in an awkward position, Niall.” His sigh reminds Niall of a toddler trying to copy the adults around him.

“Sorry, man.” In a way he _is_ sorry. He knows he's being selfish, but he has to be ruthless. He just desperately needs to talk this through with someone, because he honestly doesn't know what to do and he doesn't want to give Liam an opportunity to exclude himself due to what could be seen as a potential conflict of interest. “I just don’t know what to do.” He knows that this will get to him. Liam's the sort who just has to help if he feels you're in need. Nialls' taking advantage and he knows it, but he'll be sorry _later_.

Liam looks into his face, examining it for what Niall isn't sure. “Okay, I promise this won't go any further.” There is a short pause as they both acknowledge that he means Louis, not Zayn. The chances of him not telling Zayn are nil. He knows that, Liam knows that. He just isn't sure that Liam knows he knows that.

“Thanks man, I really appreciate it. I've been holding this in for a while.” Liam is looking interested despite himself. If it were Zayn he'd _appear_ to be listening to you, but he'd be listening to all the things you weren't saying, assessing you, formulating theories, but Liam is just purely listening, taking it all in – _believing_ you.

“Like I said, I never expected to feel this way. It just crept up on me.” He looks into his eyes. “You know what Harry's like, man – gets under your skin.” Now, he is pretty sure that there is no occasion where Harry’s come even _close_ to getting under Liam's skin, but he has no doubt that Liam can relate all the same. And judging by the faraway look in his eyes yeah he can relate. “I honestly didn't plan on falling for him. We were just mates, you know? And then, I don't know, it just changed. One day we were friends and the next I was in love with him.” Well it hadn't gone quite like that, but this is Liam he's talking to, he has to rig the game to allow for Liam's particular bias.

“I know,” he says quietly, looking at his feet.

“I have no intention of getting between him and Louis. That's not what I'm about.”

“I know, but-” He looks at him now, and Niall isn't quite able to read his expression, just knows that there's a definite, not so subtle difference from before. “You can't help how you feel, can you? You really can't help who you fall in love with. I used to think you could. Like when I heard about people having affairs, saying they’d fallen in love with someone they'd met – at work or whatever – I just thought it was an excuse, but I understand it better now.”

Well yeah, I was counting on that. “Oh, thanks man. I didn't want you to think I was planning on breaking anything up.”

He can practically see the thoughts parade across Liam's face, and patiently waits.

“I know, I know you didn't intend to split them up. I know that's not what you're about. The thing is...” He pauses, asking himself one last time if he's doing the right thing. Niall already knows what he's going to say and is simply curious about the choice he'll make and how and why he'd make that choice. “The thing is, I think they've sort of split. But Niall, I don't want to get your hopes up. I think it was Louis who ended it and I think Harry's in pieces so it'd be better if you didn't... you know. I mean he's still going to be a bit wrecked, so he won't be up for anything serious for a while. Sorry, mate.”

Well, wasn't that interesting. So Louis had told him that he was the one who'd ended it? Right then. Interesting. “It's okay. I can see that. I wasn't planning to do anything with it, just needed to tell someone. So Harry's not over him, then.”

“No, I don't think he will be for a while to be honest.” He looks genuinely remorseful as though it pains him to have to tell Niall this.

“I know.” He finds a gusty sigh, though his mind is in overdrive. Things were a little more complicated than he'd realised. Harry hadn’t really said much about Louis' response to the break-up, just that he was hurt. Niall certainly hadn’t expected him to spin it that way. Still, it wasn't something he'd put past Louis. He has a tendency to make himself look bigger at Harry's expense at times. “I feel better though. I know me and Harry can't be together, but I feel better for telling you and for knowing that at least I didn't break them up.”

According to Harry he sort of did break them up, in the sense that Harry wasn't meant to get serious about him and having realised that he was serious couldn’t keep pretending he and Louis were okay. But he wasn't going to share this with Liam. No need. In fact if it served Liam to believe that Louis was the one who'd ended it then that was fine with him too.

“Yeah.” Liam's really solemn as though he has something on his mind, something Niall would lay money on he has no intention of sharing with him.

“So you think I need to forget about him?”

“Sorry?”

“Harry, being with Harry. I should just forget it?”

Liam gives this some thought before saying: “I don't know. Maybe just give it a bit of time.”

“You think he'd ever have feelings for me?” This is unfair in oh so many ways, but he needs to know how Liam sees this.

Liam clearly doesn't want to answer, but he is also aware that to not answer immediately will be answer enough and he doesn't want to hurt Niall's feelings. “I think he likes you, Niall...”

“Just not as much as I like him.”

Liam looks like he wants to cry and Niall takes pity on him, reaching across to hug him. “It's alright. I'm not in bits about it. You know me – can't keep a good 'un down for long.”

“No,” he agrees, awkwardly patting his back.

Niall doesn't really know what expectations he had when he came here, just knows that he's actually got the reassurance he needed whilst learning a few things in the process.

He never doubted that Harry was sincere in his declaration of love, but maybe it took finding out that Louis had felt the need to lie about the nature of the break-up to really hammer it home.

He can relax now, in fact he feels really relaxed, almost glowing inside. He feels nothing but affection for Liam who, had he but known it, has given him the final piece he hadn’t even known he was seeking.

He's been here a little while and suspects Liam wants to go to his bed. He'll let him, but there are a few things he needs to address first.

Reaching out he touches a finger to Liam's neck. “What’s this?”

Liam reflexively touches the spot and blushes. “Er... I...er.”

“Have you and Zayn...?”

Liam moves away from him as though fearing that proximity will force confessions from him he would rather not make. “Niall, don't, I don't want to talk about it. It's private.”

Niall's about to insist then he recalls that this isn't just about Liam, it's also about Zayn. “Okay,” he says. “I'll let you off this time, but don't think this is the end of it.” He gets up, relieved, amused, close to feeling better about him and Harry than he'd probably ever done. “Alright, mate, I’ll let you get to sleep. Thanks for putting up with me, man.” He gets him by the hand and pulls him into another hug. When he rubs him low on the back Liam winces, and though he knows he should just ignore it he just can't. “You alright, man?”

Liam tries to casually move away a little bit, forcing a smile. The smile says: 'please, please leave, don't say another word, just open that door and leave'. Liam himself says: “No, I'm fine. I think I got winged a few times earlier. Left a bruise.” His smile again tries to say: 'nothing to see here, move on'. But Niall, can't resist taking the opening he's been given, “Let's have a look. I noticed it earlier – when I came in.” He laughs. “Thought Zayn had left his mark on you or something.”

Their eyes meet and a moment of perfect understanding passes between them. It feels like, for the first time, they truly, truly understand each other.

And it feels good, really good.

He puts both arms around Liam, carefully hugs him. “Love you, man” he says quietly into his ear.

“I love you, too,” Liam says, equally quiet.

Yeah, they understand each other.

 

 

**

 

The first meeting with Louis is awkward as fuck.

Louis' not saying anything, but he's icy cold, staring at him without speaking, quietly but openly mocking everything he says.

The fact that the others say nothing, make every effort to completely ignore this tells him that everyone knows, and no-one is going to talk about or make any reference to it at all.

Harry doesn't make any particular effort to pay him any more attention than the others would expect, but he looks at him once when he knows there’s no attention on them and it burns its way right to the heart of him.

He wants him _so_ badly, not just sexually, and it's worse now because now he knows that there's a chance for them.

It's going to be really, really awkward. He's sure that Louis and he will never be friends again, but he's going to have Harry. No matter what it takes.

 

 

**

 

When he sees Zayn at his door he fears the worst. Zayn values his privacy, especially when it comes to Liam, and there's something Niall knows that he's sure neither Harry nor Louis do. Liam probably told him about the late night visit and he's probably here to interrogate him.

But as it turns out, no, that's not it.

Yeah, he knows about the late night visit, but apparently Liam managed not to reveal Niall's awareness of whatever extra curricular activities they indulged in. Perhaps the guy is actually learning...

“Hey.” He lets him in, doesn't bother to offer him a drink, just resumes his previous activity – leafing through a sports magazine. He could share an amusing picture with Zayn, but best not talk sport at all... That much he's learned after a rather interesting period of trial and error.

“Alright, bro.” Zayn's not quite ready for bed yet, but his hair is free of whatever shit he usually uses to keep it styled and out of his eyes. When he has his hair that way it makes him look boyish and very sexy, which is misleading because he's still the same Zayn underneath it all and it's so easy to let his hair fool you. Niall's done it a few times in the past and won't be doing that again anytime soon.

“Yeah, man. Can't sleep.” He doesn't owe Zayn any reason or excuse but he gives one anyway.

“Me either.” He sits next to him. He smells good. He always does, something between whatever he uses in the shower, shampoo, hair product, and the expensive cologne and after shave he's always worn. He apparently has a bio-chemical make-up that makes any fucking combo of perfumes work for him. Niall's tried Zayn's cologne and he knows for damn sure it doesn't smell as good on him as it does on Zayn. He knows this because when he wore it he didn't notice a flock of girls chasing _him_ down the street or practically swooning when he came close to them for photo opportunities.

Zayn is again examining his features. It's not something you ever get used to, but you learn to sit still for it since it doesn't always mean anything negative. The hardest part is the fact that he's so hard to read. Niall's absolutely certain that not even Liam has the key to most of Zayn's expressions. He wonders, actually, how it is they even get on. He doesn't rate Liam very highly when it comes to being 'clever' with people and they all know that Zayn's not only really clever himself, but likes cleverness in those around him.

Guess it must be love...

“What’s going on with you and Harry?”

Shocker! No beating around the bush at all. What a turn up for the books... “How do you mean?” Zayn just looks at him, so he answers his own question – with a shrug. “No idea. Playing it by ear.”

“What for?”

“Because, Zayn.”

“He likes you, you like him.” An eloquent shrug.

“But it isn't that simple.”

“It's that simple.”

Niall looks helplessly at him.

Zayn sees things so black and white sometimes: he wants Liam, he'll have Liam, no matter who's in the way, how long he has to wait. Things are _that_ simple as far as he's concerned. But what he fails to understand is that not everyone’s like him., some people need to think things through a little more, take this and that into account before making a move... “It's too soon.”

“It's been you for the last few months. How is it too bloody soon, bro? Man, you are talking shit!” He gives him a 'friendly' prod.

Niall assumes that he's swallowed the impulse to actually _slap_ some sense into him, but the friendly prod will probably raise a bruise in the morning.

“He's just broken up with Louis-”

“I told you, it's been you for the last two months. What part of that do you not understand?”

“The part where he's been fucking Louis and acting like I don't fucking exist for the last fucking week!” Oh. Okay. So he's not as over that as he thought. He gives Zayn a sheepish look, but Zayn's looking surprisingly sympathetic.

He gives the back of his neck a roughly affectionate squeeze. “That stinks, man. He shouldn't have done that.”

Niall thinks he means it, but that he’s also saying it for his sake. He doesn't mind – that's what a friend does – and Zayn's definitely a friend – a good one. “We never talked about being together, though, Zayn. I knew what I was getting into.”

Zayn's snort is heartfelt and the expression on his face reminds Niall that it's not just him and Harry under discussion here. “Bro, you _never_ know. You think you do, but you really don't.”

And Niall can't disagree.

They sit in silence for a good while musing on the way you can never know beforehand but that even if you _did_ you'd still do it.

Love really is a bitch, but one thing he can say about it is that it gives you a lot of fucking courage.

It makes you reckless and crazy, but within all that are the seeds of unshakeable courage.

Without the spur of love you'd never do half the things you do...

 

 

**

 

It's only later when he's lying in bed with Harry – in _their_ room – that it occurs to him that Zayn came to his room to give him that spur.

He turns to Harry.

He's sleeping, face angelic.

Niall smiles, leans down and kisses him gently so as not to disturb him.

Harry's sly – he should know that better than anyone - but Zayn gave absolutely nothing away.

At no point did it ever occur to him that he was there as Harry's emissary, there to persuade him to take a chance on Harry.

Oh Zayn was good, better than even he'd believed.

Chuckling to himself he lies there and watches Harry sleep.

They'd been pretty passionate earlier and he can feel the ache in his legs and hips. Pleasure can make you forget discomfort, but once you get your breath and pulse back under control it jumps up with a smug wave to remind you that it won't be sidelined for long.

He'll get used to it. He'll probably even get used to Harry’s massive prick!

A couple of fingers can't prepare you, a vibrator can't, not even the biggest dildo he could comfortably take had prepared him.

None of them compare to Harry's cock.

Harry's really gentle – at first – until Niall screams for him to ram him.

Why had he done that again? Oh yeah – because each stroke of Harry's cock had connected with his prostate and the orgasm seemed to be lurking around the edges, apparently waiting for a more vigorous rhythm.

Harry, obedient as he always was when it came to sex, had pulled him down the bed, taken the weight of his legs and pounded him until he begged for mercy. It was at times like these that he wished he spoke Gaelic fluently – 'fuck, fuck I'm coming you fucker!' sounded _so_ much better in another language, didn't it?

Harry had actually been grinning as he fucked him: looking at his cock going in and out, meeting his eye and grinning.

Why Niall had found that such a turn on he has no idea.

Harry's different.

It's like now he's made a commitment to him he's changed. He speaks to him differently, looks at him differently and Niall now knows the difference between Harry fucking you and Harry loving you, committing to you.

And maybe, in time, he'll get used to that, too.

It's going to take a while to get used to being where Louis once was, although as Zayn helpfully pointed out to him, Louis was never actually where he is since he never committed to Harry the way Niall has, because for now he, Louis and Harry are not friends. It's not affecting their stage show, but he suspects that, in time, it might. It is affecting their friendship with Louis, their friendship with Liam and Zayn. Liam's the one most obviously affected. He wants to take Louis' side, but he and Zayn are fucking and Niall knows he hasn't broken up with his girlfriend, so he won't be hypocritical (though Niall is certain _he_ is the only one who knows about Zayn) and condemn Harry. For one, Harry hasn't actually done anything wrong, two he hasn't either and three Liam believes in love, believes in love even when it makes you do iffy things. So he's resting on the horns of a big dilemma as far as his support for Louis is concerned.

They're all pretending nothing's wrong, but he knows it can't last.

At some point Louis will say or do something – to him, to Harry – and there'll be a showdown.

He both dreads and calmly anticipates this. Far as he's concerned it needs to happen. Doesn't know exactly what the outcome will be, but it needs to happen.

Harry stirs.

There's activity going on outside and this takes him out of what was clearly a shallow sleep. Harry's a deep sleeper, and like Zayn he loves his sleep. Unlike Zayn he'll only swear and grump if woken prematurely. Zayn's been known to leap – starkers – out of bed and make a seriously valiant attempt to hurt you if you wake him before he's ready.

His eyes are sleepy and so is his smile.

He leans in and kisses Niall. “You still awake?”

Niall chuckles. “Harry, it's only been 5 minutes.”

“Really?” He puts a leg over him, rolls closer, places a dry kiss in the hollow of his throat. “Feels like forever.”

Niall pretends to push him away. “For you, maybe, but I can't walk now.”

“Awww, sorry.” He bites his shoulder. He doesn't sound at all sorry.

“You'll have to be my slave.”

“I can do that.”

“Fletch and carry for me.”

“No problem.”

He reaches for his hand and before he can even form the thought Harry's hand is in his, big, warm, strong. “I love you.”

He hadn't said it before, not like that, and he can see in Harry's face how much it means to him.

Harry raises Niall's hand to his mouth and kisses it. He mouths thank you and Niall is surprised at the emotion in his eyes. It's like he knew, but didn’t know, not even when Niall had come to him, kissed him silly, told him he wanted them to be together; when he'd made love to Harry like he was the most precious thing on Earth. It had taken hearing the words to convince him.

So Niall leans down and kisses him again, just in case he needs to see the words backed up with a couple of gestures too.

And he understands when all Harry can do in response is hold him close, and still.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed the fic. Thank you :)


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